Hello you lovely flab fighters. I have a little story for you, of which I will have many, due to the fact that there are literally so many obese fucks out there :)!
I caught this particular ham bitching about me and my size recently, so I guess it makes me feel better to put her on here.
I work with this mayonnaise magnet, we shall call Mayogirl. She's in her mid twenties but gets mistaken for mid thirties all the time. She puts zero effort into her appearance, like she doesn't shower and is easily 250+lbs. She tries to make herself look smaller by constantly breathing in, which makes zero difference when your gut is protruding from the rest of your body by a metre. She also always wears black because its 'slimming'! And those skinny waist belts, designed to look chic, if you are slim and know how to dress yourself.
We were talking about plans for Christmas, who normally hosts and what they cook etc. Conversation went a little like this...
Mayogirl: So who normally hosts the Christmas meal in your family? I never host as it's too much work!
(she also still lives at home, with her 5 cats and enabling parents so she couldn't possibly host, but she doesn't know that I know that)
Me: I normally host, for around 15 family members and myself, it's not too much work if you plan ahead...
Mayogirl: I just can't be bothered with it all. Why make all that food if you won't even get to eat it all.
Me: Well I do sit down to eat with them, too...I don't sit in the corner and starve.
Mayogirl: Yeah but I bet you still count your calories, you don't eat enough! What's your favourite part of the Christmas meal?? Mine has to be Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey!!
At this point she is practically salivating.
Me: Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey? I've never had that...
Mayogirl: Yeah, you cook it all together, like the Yorkshire pudding is a pot and the bacon and honey go inside it. So yummy. I have to stop myself from eating the whole lot (teehee)
Me: Ah, well I like roasted parsnips and peas. I don't think the holidays are a reason to blindly gorge.
Mayogirl: Omg!! You actually like vegetables?? I knew there was something wrong with you, lol!!
Me: They are hands down the best part of the meal. I don't eat meat and I always look closely at what I am putting in my body, as everyone should.
Conversation ended there. Where she realised she made herself look like a total butterhuffer.
Am I the only one who can control myself around food at christmas, as I do every other day of the year?
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[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
You are not the only one!
And yes, @CowboyDancer is right that "Why make all that food if you won't even get to eat it all," is such a perfect one-sentence summary of fats, but I think "I never host as it's too much work," is right up there, too. Of course you don't host, Mayopig. Of course you are happy to enjoy the results of other people's hard work as if it's your due, but the idea of returning the favor and making an effort for other people is just too difficult for you. Of course you can't be arsed to lift a finger for your family or anyone else. Of course the idea that pleasing your loved ones and making their holiday special and enjoyable is a reward in and of itself is one that has never occurred to you. Of course you think the holidays are about taking instead of giving. Selfish, greedy, gluttonous pile of shit. I bet it counted its presents as a child, too.
(And of course it openly says, "I don't host because it's too much work," and "Why make all that food if you're not going to eat it all," as if these are normal and reasonable things to think and say, rather than indications of pure disgusting selfishness and greed.)
And anyone who doesn't like roasted parsnips is just... I don't even understand that concept. Roasted parsnips are delicious. They're the best part of any meal in which they feature (and while they are insanely good plain, I've learned that a little onion/onion powder added when you put them in the pan is a really lovely addition. I am not a fan of roasted parsnips with honey or maple syrup or other sweet glazes; IMO they're plenty sweet on their own. But onion does compliment them really well, without adding any sweetness or stickiness). But then, you can't expect a grease goblin who loves to drown her Yorkies with bacon and pure honey (gag) to know what's good.
And of course it thinks something is wrong with you because you like vegetables.
So Mayogirl is in her twenties, looks like she's in her thirties, and thinks and acts like a toddler. Typical fat. I'm sorry you have to work with it!