Hello you lovely flab fighters. I have a little story for you, of which I will have many, due to the fact that there are literally so many obese fucks out there :)!
I caught this particular ham bitching about me and my size recently, so I guess it makes me feel better to put her on here.
I work with this mayonnaise magnet, we shall call Mayogirl. She's in her mid twenties but gets mistaken for mid thirties all the time. She puts zero effort into her appearance, like she doesn't shower and is easily 250+lbs. She tries to make herself look smaller by constantly breathing in, which makes zero difference when your gut is protruding from the rest of your body by a metre. She also always wears black because its 'slimming'! And those skinny waist belts, designed to look chic, if you are slim and know how to dress yourself.
We were talking about plans for Christmas, who normally hosts and what they cook etc. Conversation went a little like this...
Mayogirl: So who normally hosts the Christmas meal in your family? I never host as it's too much work!
(she also still lives at home, with her 5 cats and enabling parents so she couldn't possibly host, but she doesn't know that I know that)
Me: I normally host, for around 15 family members and myself, it's not too much work if you plan ahead...
Mayogirl: I just can't be bothered with it all. Why make all that food if you won't even get to eat it all.
Me: Well I do sit down to eat with them, too...I don't sit in the corner and starve.
Mayogirl: Yeah but I bet you still count your calories, you don't eat enough! What's your favourite part of the Christmas meal?? Mine has to be Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey!!
At this point she is practically salivating.
Me: Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey? I've never had that...
Mayogirl: Yeah, you cook it all together, like the Yorkshire pudding is a pot and the bacon and honey go inside it. So yummy. I have to stop myself from eating the whole lot (teehee)
Me: Ah, well I like roasted parsnips and peas. I don't think the holidays are a reason to blindly gorge.
Mayogirl: Omg!! You actually like vegetables?? I knew there was something wrong with you, lol!!
Me: They are hands down the best part of the meal. I don't eat meat and I always look closely at what I am putting in my body, as everyone should.
Conversation ended there. Where she realised she made herself look like a total butterhuffer.
Am I the only one who can control myself around food at christmas, as I do every other day of the year?
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[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yeah, I don't worry too much about calories and such over Xmas, either. I bake tons of cookies--five or six different kinds, and several dozen of each--and give some away, but also eat as many as I like. (And there are always Hershey's Kisses and mini peanut butter cups in every stocking.) Granted, "as many as I like" is generally maybe five cookies over the course of the evening--I still don't eat during the day--but still. I do go for longer walks and play with the dog more, but if I gain a pound or two over the course of the week I know I'll lose it again once the cookies are gone and my eating is back to normal, so I don't care. And heh, I usually end up losing weight instead, too, because I'm constantly walking/busy in the kitchen/cleaning/whatever. The jeans I'm wearing now keep falling down; the other day I had to pee, and forgot to unzip them, and they still came right down.
Our Christmas dinner is always the same: Xmas Eve we have cold cuts and cheese with crackers and warm bread, and I make scalloped potatoes for a hot side. (I also brine my own corned beef, so that's in the fridge right now, and I'll cook it on the 23rd so it's nice and cold for slicing on the 24th.) Christmas Day is a "fancy" beef bourguignon, ("fancy" meaning instead of just browning some meat and braising it in wine, I marinate the meat for 24 hours first and the stew has bacon, cocktail onions, and mushrooms as well) over rice. Sometimes for Yule I'll do slow-roasted pork with roast potatoes and parsnips and sprouts, too, but not this year.
And New Year's Day I make a traditional (Marcella Hazan) lasagna: a slow-cooked bolognese with beef, pork, and veal, started with a soffritto and pancetta, then layered with pasta (sometimes home-made) and bechamel sauce, with a little fresh-grated parmesan--no ricotta or mozzarella here! Most years I'll make some bread to go with it, too, maybe with a little garlic butter.
So yeah, I put a lot of effort into our holiday food, and I enjoy the results. I'm sure most fats would be shocked that our one pan of lasagna usually lasts three meals, or that I barely cook at all between Xmas and New Year because we have so many leftovers of cold cuts and bourguignon that we just eat that for the week...but as I said I want to enjoy the results of all my work, and enjoyment doesn't include making myself sick from overeating.
[–] callthehambulance ago
Hah, I have the same issue going on right now with the jeans I'm wearing.
Your Christmas food sounds wonderful. I tend to keep stuff light i the days building up to it, so dinner tonight was a fish finger sandwich. Next couple of days will be cereal, oatmeal or scrambled eggs.
Oh gosh. Veal. I've not had that in years now and I miss it. Tne most beautiful of meat.
I'm popping up to the butcher's tomorrow to get my beef joint. I'm looking forward to it and to the coming days of having a fridge stuffed with leftovers. Best feeling ever
[–] DorothyMantooth ago
Lol, I'm actually kind of annoyed by the jeans, because these are a size 2 and they're a little too big, but the 0s are a bit too small for comfort (mainly in the waist, because I'm short-waisted so I'm fairly straight-up-and-down). I'd like to just have a size that fits, you know?
I am so jealous that you're going to a butcher. I miss tons of things about England and where we lived there, but the biggest and most consistent one is my butchers. Great meats, great guys... I miss them, and there are no proper butchers here (at least not within about a twenty minute drive) so I have to make do with supermarkets, sigh. It just sucks. (And I'm already wondering where I'm going to find the veal here, whereas at my butcher's I could just ask them for a "brown mince" and they'd grind it all up together for me. Because real butchers are awesome.) I'll probably have to trek all the way out to Whole Foods for it. I've actually only had it once aside from in lasagna or meatballs, so I don't know much about cooking it properly or anything; one of these days I'll try it. (I have also never had or made beef wellington, though I've always wanted to!! That sounds wonderful! Do you make your own mushroom duxelle, or...? I don't like mushrooms, which is kind of the one thing that keeps me from it--for the bourguignon I keep them really big so I can easily pick them out--but I keep thinking I could get a nice beef pate or something instead.)
And thank you! We do like our Xmas food. Funny thing is, the Xmas Eve thing started when I was a kid and my mom decided to just get a party platter one year instead of doing a whole big meal. We all liked it so much it just became a tradition. We have our light snack-y dinner and then we play a game and open presents. It's fun (and it's easy for me, which is the best part because by Xmas Eve I don't feel like cooking anything anymore, lol).