Hello you lovely flab fighters. I have a little story for you, of which I will have many, due to the fact that there are literally so many obese fucks out there :)!
I caught this particular ham bitching about me and my size recently, so I guess it makes me feel better to put her on here.
I work with this mayonnaise magnet, we shall call Mayogirl. She's in her mid twenties but gets mistaken for mid thirties all the time. She puts zero effort into her appearance, like she doesn't shower and is easily 250+lbs. She tries to make herself look smaller by constantly breathing in, which makes zero difference when your gut is protruding from the rest of your body by a metre. She also always wears black because its 'slimming'! And those skinny waist belts, designed to look chic, if you are slim and know how to dress yourself.
We were talking about plans for Christmas, who normally hosts and what they cook etc. Conversation went a little like this...
Mayogirl: So who normally hosts the Christmas meal in your family? I never host as it's too much work!
(she also still lives at home, with her 5 cats and enabling parents so she couldn't possibly host, but she doesn't know that I know that)
Me: I normally host, for around 15 family members and myself, it's not too much work if you plan ahead...
Mayogirl: I just can't be bothered with it all. Why make all that food if you won't even get to eat it all.
Me: Well I do sit down to eat with them, too...I don't sit in the corner and starve.
Mayogirl: Yeah but I bet you still count your calories, you don't eat enough! What's your favourite part of the Christmas meal?? Mine has to be Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey!!
At this point she is practically salivating.
Me: Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey? I've never had that...
Mayogirl: Yeah, you cook it all together, like the Yorkshire pudding is a pot and the bacon and honey go inside it. So yummy. I have to stop myself from eating the whole lot (teehee)
Me: Ah, well I like roasted parsnips and peas. I don't think the holidays are a reason to blindly gorge.
Mayogirl: Omg!! You actually like vegetables?? I knew there was something wrong with you, lol!!
Me: They are hands down the best part of the meal. I don't eat meat and I always look closely at what I am putting in my body, as everyone should.
Conversation ended there. Where she realised she made herself look like a total butterhuffer.
Am I the only one who can control myself around food at christmas, as I do every other day of the year?
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[–] delta88 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I've never had yorkshire pudding, but bacon and honey together sounds disgusting.
Vegetables really are underappreciated by fat people. Not a holiday food, but I've been making oven-roasted zucchini and it's /so good/. I'm not against eating unhealthy things during the holidays too, but no reason you can't eat reasonable portions.
Also, although the cleanup and grocery bill might be a pain, I'd love to host the holiday dinner (my family is small anyway). If it's at my house I don't have to travel :) And then I can actually put some effort into the meal instead of opening a can of something and calling it a side dish.
[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yorkshire pudding is delicious, and very easy. All you need to do is mix equal parts egg and milk in a bowl, then add the same amount again of flour--so, frex, four eggs are a little over 3/4C of egg (crack the eggs into a measuring cup first, beat them lightly with a fork, and note the volume), so you'll add a little over 3/4C of milk and then a little over 3/4C of flour, and then about 3/4 tsp of salt. Mix it all well--some recipes say to make a well in the flour and then add the egg and milk, and it does mix better that way, but it rises better if you add the flour to the liquid--and let it sit for at least 20 min or so while you preheat the oven to 425F. When the oven is hot, take a muffin tin and put a little blob of bacon fat, beef drippings, or shortening into each cup (maybe 1/2 tsp into each?), then put that in the oven for 10 minutes to get good and hot.
At the end of the 10 minutes, give the batter a stir (it's a very runny, liquidy batter), pull out the muffin tin, and pour some batter into each cup--it will sizzle and start rising a bit immediately. You want to fill each cup about 1/2 - 3/4 full. Put it back in the oven and bake for about twenty minutes; the puddings will rise very high, and they'll be kind of hollow inside. They're done when they're golden brown - darker brown and feel dry and springy, and there's no wet batter still in the center, though the center will be pale still generally. (They'll fall a bit when you take them out of the oven.)
They're a traditional accompaniment to roast beef/roast meats--actually, people would make them as a filling side to make the main course meat stretch farther. You can pour gravy on them, or eat them plain, or you can add honey or maple syrup or golden syrup if you like for breakfast or dessert or whatever. I like gravy or plain, personally, and they're delicious cold the next day, too. As I said, sometimes for a meal I'll add the meat and veg from soup when I pour the batter into the cups, or you can add seasoned browned or cooked meat of any kind; the puddings will rise around the meat, basically, so it's meat and pudding in one. (I also make toad-in-the-hole pretty often, or did when I had access to good fresh British sausages, and that's just Yorkshire pudding batter poured over sausages which have been roasted in the oven for twenty minutes or so until they're gently browned and very hot. In that case it's one big pudding rather than muffin tins [takes about the same amount of time to cook] and I add some herbs and such to the batter: rosemary, thyme, basil, marjoram, some garlic powder or onion powder--all of them or any combination of them. It's my younger daughter's favorite dinner, with mashed potatoes and peas, and very filling.)
I'd love to hear how you make oven-roasted zucchini, if you feel like sharing? I'm not a big fan of zucchini, but IMO most vegetables are delicious roasted, so I'd like to give it a go.
[–] delta88 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Wow, I'll Have to try that. I expected it to be more of a dessert.
For roasted zucchini I cut zucchini into chunks, season with salt/pepper and garlic (or whatever spices I feel like using), and bake on a cookie sheet at 350°F for about 30-40 minutes. Very simple but it tastes better than just steamed zucchini.
[–] user654654 ago (edited ago)
aunt bessie's. downvote me, ye heathens