Last weekend my husband and I went to a street festival connected to his work--he had clients there and the company paid for our tickets. W had a couple of extras so invited my husband's good friend and his wife, whom I'd never met, and with whom our friend A) has a toddler; and B) is having marital problems.
Turns out the wife is a cow. Husband and I were both shocked--I'd never met her before but Husband has, and he told me later she's gained weight in the few months since he last saw her.
She was not especially friendly to me. Because they had their toddler with them (and you know your Dorothy loves babies), I was trying to be extra friendly and helpful, you know, I'll hold the stroller while you go get food, I'll walk here to block the sun from the eyes of the baby you failed to bring a hat or visor for, I'll keep an eye on her while you watch the presentation going on...and of course, which ended up happening several times, I will chase the toddler through the crowd and scoop her up while you are still struggling to get your fat ass up off the curb. And she (the wife) smiled and said thanks and all, but she wasn't friendly at all and didn't respond to any of my attempts to engage her (we were there as a group, after all, and her husband is my friend, too).
But what really impressed me--not in a good way--was the way she handled the baby (who was an adorable, cheeky little thing, though of course not as adorable as my little "niece" next door). First, the baby was in her stroller with a baby doll and that was it. No other toys, nothing to amuse her. All the mother did the whole time we were there, every time the baby got bored, was shove food at her. All to eat with her fingers--which is normal for toddlers, of course, but I mean the mother didn't feed her anything or share any food with her on her fork or spoon, she just stuck it all in front of the baby. As we waited in lines and such, she stayed behind the stroller the whole time; no stepping in front of it to interact with Baby. I was the one who took a step to the side to talk to Baby, smile at Baby, take Baby's hand when she reached out to me.
I mean, I get that you can't interact every minute and all. But we were there for over two hours, and some of those lines were long, and it wasn't until I finally said, "She's reaching for me, can I take her out?" that the Fat seemed to think that maybe just shoving food in front of her toddler wasn't enough entertainment for that long a period of time.
In fairness, she did hold Baby (we all did, but of course Baby preferred her mom and then her dad) and put shoes on her so Baby could stand and walk around a little. But this is the worst part. Baby being, you know, a toddler, she wanted to sit on the ground. She'd crouch down and put her hands on the ground. She'd been eating with those hands the whole time. They were sticky. Her face was sticky. And the entire time we were there, her mother did not once clean her face or hands. Baby is in the stroller eating, Baby is out of the stroller literally, at one point, playing in the sandy dirt, letting it flow through her fingers and throwing it in the air (it was adorable). Then Baby is eating again. With her fingers. Wife looks at her husband at one point not long before we left and says, "She's going to need a bath, she's filthy," and I'm thinking, She wouldn't be so filthy if you'd, you know, clean her up a little. Like, where are the baby wipes? I don't think I left the house for more than a quick run to the convenience store or to drop off/pick up Older at school without baby wipes until my youngest was about four, and that's typical of every mom I've ever known. Your kid is sticky and dirty, she's been playing in dirt, and you don't wipe her hands with even a dry napkin or something before you let her eat with those same hands? She's got sticky patches of dirt and muck all over her sweet little face, her little hands are sticky and mucky...are you not going to try to clean her at all? Even just lick your hands and rub hers clean with them (which I resorted to once or twice when mine were little and we'd run out of wipes or whatever), since you apparently didn't even bring baby wipes when you traveled several hours to a street festival with your child who is still in diapers? What is the matter with you, do you not even care that your child is filthy? You're not even going to make any kind of effort, you're just going to let her get dirtier and dirtier?
And of course, I couldn't try to do it, because that's not the kind of thing you can do with the child of someone you don't know well. My little "niece," whose mom is my best friend and who I see and spend time with several times a week, sure, I can wipe her face and hands or grab a tissue for her to blow her nose or whatever without even asking or saying anything, but to do it to a stranger's child seems like judgment. So Husband and I just watched that poor sweet little girl get dirtier and dirtier, more and more bored, while her mom just sat there--she complained about standing for so long a few times--and ate and barely spoke to any of us.
So that was a street festival with a fat: she ate a lot, she barely smiled, she sat down whenever possible and complained when she couldn't, she ignored her baby for long stretches of time and just kept shoving food at her (waaaaay more food than a baby that age needs or should have), and she didn't even seem to think it might be a good idea to try to clean the sticky food residue and dirt off her baby before the baby ate again with those same sticky hands.
I shudder to think what life that poor baby has in store in future. SMH.
tl;dr Unfriendly fat ignores her own baby, gives it food instead of paying attention to it, and allows it to be filthy and eat with filthy hands like it's NBD. Not the greatest or most interesting story in the world, I know, but I'm still kind of annoyed by it and thought it was at least appropriate to share here even if it's not fascinating or anything.
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[–] GuntGoblin 3 points 10 points 13 points (+13|-3) ago
Oh man. I hate children with a burning passion, but the only thing I hate more than children is child abuse and neglect. Obviously this lady is a cunt but what was her husband doing this whole time? Did he have his thumb up his ass too? God you probably could have swapped the kid out for a doll and no one would have noticed.
[–] callthehambulance 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
This is a great point. Behind every useless mother is a spineless, or worse, absent, father
[–] DorothyMantooth [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
No, he tried; he paid more attention to Baby than his wife did, and I saw him kind of trying to rub her little hand once, like trying to rub the dirt away, but he seemed to be trying to do it where the fat didn't see him. They have a very complicated situation right now where he is trying to get his own business going so is not home much, and I know she's talked about leaving him, so I think he's trying not to make waves so he can still at least have his daughter at home with him.
I'm not making excuses for him, because he certainly could have asked for a wipe and cleaned her up, too, and believe me aside from his pigfucking I still know he's not an ideal father, but he tried harder than she did. (He's also a vet with confirmed kills that he still has nightmares about, so I do tend to make more allowances for someone who sacrificed and fought for our country, I admit.) I think he's just more clueless about babies, like most men who don't get to be as involved as they'd like to be. (And as far as me chasing Baby down and such, he knows I've been offering for over a year to babysit and telling him how I'd love to meet Baby, so I think he was letting me do it so I could get to do it, whereas his wife was doing it because she was a lazyass, if that makes sense? The dad is my friend, knew how happy I was that they were bringing Baby, and wanted me to have fun; his wife barely spoke to me and didn't seem delighted to meet me or anything [typical fat meeting a thin woman] so I don't think she was generously letting me cuddle and play.)
[–] Runway22L 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
I thought it was fascinating, course I'm not around little kids all that often. And the idea of this pig letting her kid get that dirty and doing nothing about it is just nasty. I mean if my kid was that rancid after a day at the fair I'd at least find a bathroom to give the tyke a little field scrub but that's me. I've been told I have a small thing with germs! 😷
[–] DorothyMantooth [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Well, thank you!
And yeah, I was horrified. I have a little germ thing as well--I once decided to count the number of times a day I wash my hands, and lost count after fifty and that was around noon so I hadn't even gotten into something like making dinner yet, where I wash them constantly--but even without that, and even knowing that babies and toddlers can be kind of gross, I was really shocked. Sure, the kid needs a bath, but you should be able to clean her up right here, too. You should have been cleaning her hands and face after everything she ate, ffs, that's just what you do. I can't count the number of times I've done things like wipe snot off babies's noses with my bare hands because it was about to reach their mouths or something (and then washed my hands, of course), you just...you keep your baby as clean as possible and worry about yourself later. You don't leave a little one with sticky dirt everywhere and shrug like there's nothing you can do, that's what baby wipes and tissues and such are for.
(Babies are gross, lol. It just doesn't seem or feel gross because they're so adorable and sweet, but objectively they can be pretty disgusting.)
[–] Runway22L 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
No argument from me. And it is different when they're your kids. And yeah, it's basically called parenting, something fats shouldn't be allowed to do. I feel bad for that kid because I know what's in its future. Then I feel bad for us.
[–] Acadia 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I've learned I cant be friends with fat moms. It makes me a wreck because I feel their children are neglected. You can tell their children notice too.
[–] DorothyMantooth [S] ago
I was really stunned. I remember taking Older to a convention when she was around that age and just spending most of the day trying to amuse her and make sure she got to play and walk around as much as possible, but the fat didn't even seem to care. Just kept shoving food in front of her.
[–] 21075234? 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Jesus fucking Christ. I would nudge your friend to LEAVE HER and fight for primary custody.
[–] DorothyMantooth [S] ago
It would be nice if he could. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. Before I met her and realized she's a pig I felt awful for him, how devastated he was/is at the thought of her leaving and taking Baby with her, but yeah, now I think thy'd both be better off.
[–] MetabolismPrivilege 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That's crazy. My son just turned two, and the only time he's in the stroller is when we're somewhere crowded or we have to get somewhere quick. And he hates it everytime. I mean, toddlers want to walk and move, right? Absolutely bizarre.
[–] DorothyMantooth [S] ago
Yes! And I always figure the more practice they get at walking, the better. It was a busy festival but not crowded, if you know what I mean, and with four adults to help keep an eye on her she was fine when she was finally allowed to walk around--like I said, her mother never bothered to chase her, but her husband or mine or I always did, and everyone she toddled past/in the booth she managed to walk into, lol, was full of smiles and kindness.
I'm still just so confused by the idea of taking a child in diapers anywhere without wipes. My husband and I talked about it on the ride home and couldn't figure out what the thinking was there. Even when they reach that age and have some "regularity," you know, there's still always a chance. But I guess cleanliness really isn't a thing for fat moms.
[–] MetabolismPrivilege 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah, that's just gross. I always have wipes and an extra diaper even in my small purse when we're just popping down to the corner shop. You never know what can happen.
[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
"So that was a street festival with a fat: she ate a lot, she barely smiled, she sat down whenever possible and complained when she couldn't, she ignored her baby for long stretches of time and just kept shoving food at her (waaaaay more food than a baby that age needs or should have), and she didn't even seem to think it might be a good idea to try to clean the sticky food residue and dirt off her baby before the baby ate again with those same sticky hands." This is a great summary of every fat cow mom.
[–] High_Sierra_Trail 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That poor kid.... The dumb bitch doesn't consider what a gift she has.
[–] itsALWAYStheBANKERS ago
Push her off a cliff