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[–] DiabetoStinko 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Yup.

Deathfat coworker got bariatric surgery. She enjoyed that honeymoon period when the weight falls off effortlessly.

Fast forward a year later, she has sagging bags of skin. Wants to get it removed but the doctor wont approve it until she loses another X pounds. She is royally pissed but joined a gym. Seemed like she was losing more weight, but lacked any discipline.

Fast forward 2 more years, she is fat as fuck again. Falls at work, breaks foot, needs surgery. Doesnt heal. Needs another surgery.

Another year goes by. She is collecting workmans comp. Rest of us have been handling her work for a year. Finally she is well enough (?) to come back to work. She is a fucking BEHEMOTH! If I had to guess, she is closer to 600 than 499.

But the smell...yes it assaults you. When she walks by, you get a waft of funk that is a cross between a teenage boys gym bag that was left in the trunk on a hot summers day.... and a container of cottage cheese that fell under the fridge and you didnt find until a year later.

The quantity of food this cunt eats boggles my mind. Its non stop all work day long. And she takes these dumps of death 4x a day. Kills the bathroom so bad that the rest of us have to use a different bathroom. But I work for a utility company and our campus is huge. The nearest bathroom is basically 1 block away.

And I wont even go into detail about the smell of her dying feet.

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[–] TheStapler 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You need to find a way to get her fired. Does she sometimes leave her screen unlocked when she goes to the kitchen? Probably. Leave a box of donuts in the kitchen so she’s sure to be in there for a while. Meanwhile you get on her computer and send an email to the whole company saying, in a serious tone and in first person, that she is coming out as a pedophile and wonder if anyone would be willing to let her borrow their kids for a while. Say she admits that her struggle with weight is due to childhood sexual abuse which also makes her sexually attracted to children. Something like that to make it believable. She’ll be gone in like 20 minutes. I’m totally serious. Fats don’t deserve comfortable jobs.

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[–] callthehambulance ago 

Damn. that must have been irritating as all heck to see. Especially seeing as how she started going to the gym and was within sniffing distance of sorting herself out.

And I am well familiar with the smell of dying feet. It's one of those smells that sticks to you. If I may, can I offer some advice? If you have to be near her and you feel like the aroma has clung to you, dog shampoo is super effective at removing the lingering reek. I use it first before my usual shampoo, then shower as normal.

It sounds crackers (I discovered it by accident) but works really well. Plus, who doesn't love a shiny, glossy coat? :p