EMT here again.
Once again, get called out to a 38YOM, over 400lbs complaining of back pain.
When we arrived, it was standing outside of it's apartment (thank God) holding it's left side in pain. This death fat called 911 because it went "to sit up in the bed and turned wrong."
We we're slammed with calls all day and we had to waste our time with this fat.
Anyways, did a quick assessment, no bruising, didn't feel any crepitus, but that's hard to do cause you have to press through all the fucking fat to feel or hear any bones grinding against each other. And the fat fuck was pushing my hand away and howling in pain. Sorry fatass, if the sweet old lady who broke her hip last call can let me palpate her pelvis, your fatass can handle me fishing through your fat to find any resemblance of a bone.
Anyways, This fat fuck was complaining of rib pain. After taking the waste of space to the hospital, I got an update from one of the RNs later that the fat fuck FRACTURED A RIB WHILE SITTING UP IN HIS BED.
WHO DOES THAT. only fat fucks. Man, I had a buddy only fracture one rib with a little bit of bruising to his shoulder after a gnarly BMX accident going downhill.
But these fat fucks can't do basic human functions and movements without hurting themselves. HAES AMIRITE