[–] MeowsephStalin 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Wow I can be helpful!

So I've had a friend in this situation (for different reasons). This is what they did and it worked out pleasantly.

Call this gal up and say you've recently hit a financial bump and need to downsize the wedding to a few close friends and immediate family. You'll make up for it by keeping her in mind when y'all have a "do-over reception" later down the road for a vow renewal.

Just limit shared photos on social media. Boom

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

THANK YOU! Yes, yes, yes this is my out. It’s honest because I’m afraid she’d eat the entire appetizer spread meant for 150 guests and a whole tier of my wedding cake.

[–] MeowsephStalin 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You're welcome shit lady! Enjoy the big day!

[–] intermittentfeasting 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

This is great advice. Hope things work out for you, OP! Congrats, enjoy the special day for you and your significant other!

[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

They manage to gain weight despite having half their stomach and intestines removed. I guess it's no surprise they can do it without an arm.

FWIW, I'm in the camp of un-invite her and say you don't want a hamplanet at your wedding if she asks. It's not like you want her friendship and white lies in this scenario only lead to more convoluted lies because you know she will go behind your back to investigate. You can either be seen as a bitch now or potentially have your big day ruined by a rude, slobbering, loud-mouthed blob.

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

My anxiety about her attending is too much. We obviously don’t have anything in common anymore and I don’t know if could hold back my disgust if I saw her in person. And I’m seriously concerned about her mental health and stability. I don’t want the stress on my wedding day.

[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

As someone who was forced to have a person I detested attend my wedding, I would say you should uninvite the porker. It kills me to look at my wedding pics and seeing that person there.

I think you will always regret looking at the pictures later and seeing the obeast there, taking up 3/4 of the frame. Since you don't have anything in common anymore anyway, who cares if its fee-fees are hurt? You are the person that matters in this case.

[–] GinForBreakfast 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

If you un-invite her, maybe she'll write about it for one of those shitty fat-glorification websites to detail her oppression!

[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

At the risk of giving you bad advice, you wouldn't exactly be unique by being a "psycho bitch." Her presence makes you extremely anxious and it is technically your prerogative and privilege as the bride to be a ruthless dictator. As far as Bridezilla decisions go, telling her you just don't want her there "because" would be very mild. Worst case scenario, your social status will be preserved because "being a bride is stressful and we all go a bit crazy." Everyone will ignore weird stuff you do in preparation for your wedding. You might even find some unexpected solidarity. As I say, that's bad advice, but take from it what you will.

[–] Cerryo 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Maybe if you break her other arm then whatever went wrong with her will turn off again and she'll lose weight. There's only one way to find out

[–] Reverse-Flash 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You should tell her they are having a sale on beds and then show her a catalog of coffins.

[–] HippyHoney 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Tell her the wedding is cancelled then hide her from all future social media posts and eventually unfriend and block her so it looks like you've taken a depressing spiral downward (assuming social media is how you contacted her)

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

This is the only feasable way out of this. We don’t have friends in common on Facebook because I keep my page very private.

[–] SheogorathsPride 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Or, if she manages to go, show off the years you went without becoming a crisco roll and let her leave in shame of her own failure to last for the rest of her fat life

who am I kidding, she'll stop by Wendy's and spend $30 for herself after eating your entire wedding cake

[–] ranch-othelioma 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

uninvite it?

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

How do I do that without coming off as a massive bitch?

[–] Reverse-Flash 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You're stuck with her if she shows up. You can't just un-invite her without coming off as an asshole. Live and learn.

You can have 2 chairs right next to each other with 2 name cards: one will have her first name and the other her last.

[–] ThirteenthZodiac 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

...elsewhere ITT, you mentioned:

We don’t have friends in common on Facebook because I keep my page very private.

So... why do you care about her opinion, exactly? Just say, "sorry, not sorry, but you're no longer welcome." So what if you come off as a "massive bitch."

[–] Ham_Taro 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

If you’re doing plated meals, give options that fats will NEVER take, including naming portion size. 4 oz salmon, 3 oz filet, asparagus spears, etc. Don’t mention cake. She’ll uninvite herself, something will “come up.”

[–] matthew-- 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Just tell her the truth, she's changed a lot, and is no longer the person she once was.

Put it this way, if your childhood best friend decided to tattoo a swastika on their head and you didn't find out until after you sent the invite, what would you do?

You're a woman, right? You know what to do, get together with your other friends, get them on your side first, then go through with it. Does your husband to be like the idea of a fat coming to his wedding? Get him to do the dirty work instead.

[–] Tokyo_Shitlord 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Apologize in advance, that the venue's reception hall elevator is broken so the guests will all have to walk up merely one flight of steps to get to the hall.

There. The situation will work itself out: "Sorry, something came up at the last minute and I can't come... "

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Hahaha!

[–] Proud_couverite 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Same thing happened to me. Met up with a high school friend whom I hadn't seen since ... high school. She was very in shape then. Even on facebook still looked in shape as an adult. So I was absolutely shocked when we arranged to meet during my trip back home, she must've been at least 100 lbs heavier than her facebook pic. She admitted she hadn't updated her fb in like 2 years and that she gained weight because of some medication. But HOW THE FUCK do you gain 100 lbs in a span of 2 years, jesus.

[–] scootypufftipper [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Right??!! I was so shocked my jaw dropped. It’s revolting and distressing to see someone you were once close to self desctruct like that. It’d be like if an old friend showed up for a coffee date covered head to toe in self-cutting scars and then acted like nothing was wrong.

[–] callthehambulance 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

That's a pound a week. My brain hurts :(

[–] Twentyonepointthree 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Eating too much and being lazy, durrrrrr....

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