While walking to my bus stop this morning I saw a big commotion across the street. There were some firetrucks and ambulances all over and a bunch of EMTs and cops huddling around something, and two cops were holding up a sheet to keep people from seeing whatever they were doing.
So of course I found a good angle to look. Lo and behold, it was a fatty getting CPR! I watched for about ten minutes while they took shifts doing chest compressions. I don't know how procedures work but I figure the lardbeast was super fucked if they weren't loading up into the waiting ambulance.
Finally my bus came and they rolled it onto a stretcher and its udders spilled off the side. Fuck you fatty for making my bus late. Rest In Pizza.