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[–] Apexbreed 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

and its udders spilled off the side

I definitely won't miss that part of being a first responder. 99% of the time any code blue response was a fat patient. And roughly half of those being women with nasty, giant teets that flopped out when you cut the bra to start CPR. I was actually relieveved when lawsuits came around for "sexual harrassment" because medical responders were cutting bras off. It meant a higher risk to the patient, but less of me having to see nasty breasts. Let them die...

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

How dare they try to save their lives to the best that they could!

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[–] Lurkerontheroof 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Ha, I was about to say, for the umpteenth time, that I feel sorry for those poor EMT's and/or morgue personnel (in this case) that had to risk back injury just doing their jobs.

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[–] TantricPanniculus7 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

They have massive lifts now so the coroner will be ok. They're basically motorized engine lifts with fancy plastic over it all.

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[–] thin_privilege 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Wut. Ten to one it was fat women behind those lawsuits. Biting the hand that feeds them making them able to stuff their faces a litle bit longer.

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[–] fattiesgonnaeat 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

"Rest in Pizza" lol

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[–] blackdovespeaks 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

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[–] Placetohide 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Does CPR even work with all that adipose in the way? Of course, it's "compressions," so I guess you can do it, but it just seems like a hell of a lot of extra effort for very little payoff.

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[–] Captain_Faggot 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Nah, from supporting all that fat they've got reinforced ribcages. You'd need hulk hands to pump a chest that size.

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[–] ladyinthegrey 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Its very hard to palpate the heart from that far. You can, but considering the situation, even well trained responders will not always manage it.

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[–] TurnThemIntoFuel 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Be comforted knowing that in the extraordinarily rare case the ham does survive, it will have months of recovery after having its sternum and ribs broken from the CPR.

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[–] Wizardslayer 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

But that means it will also be mooching off the system more.

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Thin privilege is not having a heart attack while waiting for the bus.

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[–] PenguinOrgy 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Hopefully it will be the last time it inconveniences humans.

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

And here I was hoping it was GuttanyandLipoz

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