So I recently had my hours shifted over to a different office that I really hate working in because every. Single. Person. Is fat. Not like smallfat either. They are up to moon and deathfat status. Here is a small selection of things I have heard in the last two weeks:
-You sure are a picky eater! (Ordered a salad with dressing on the side and no onions or croutons...)
-I woke up at 3am so I drank some chocolate milk to go back to sleep.
-Oh, I need caffeine in the morning too! I drink a bottle of Mountain Dew before I get out of bed in the morning.
-They only had a tiny 10” personal pizza! So I HAD to get the 14”.
-I don’t know why it keeps getting hot in here! cranks thermostat back down to 65 fucking degrees
-I’ve always been athletic, I just have really bad asthma so I have to wear a cpap at night (he’s easily 350..)
-(COWorker broke a femur from stepping on leg wrong)
-These portions are just ridiculous! I’m getting another entree.
Save me. Save me before they get hungry and start nomming on my arms or something.