Posted by: TheStapler
Posting time: 2.5 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 9/13/2018 10:00:00 AM
Views: 960
SCP: 23
26 upvotes, 3 downvotes (90% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
NSFW: No
Authorized: No
Anon: No
Private: No
Type: Default
view the rest of the comments →
[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
The tin-eared "author" of this piece, "Asher Weber," ought to be shot for crimes against the English language. Seriously, count the number of times that semiliterate uses the word "life" or "lives" in a single sentence.
As for the cow and her cuck (I have never used that word, but couldn't resist the alliteration and barnyard allusion all in one)...my favorite part, I think, aside from the ridiculously undeserved fame and awards, is the part where she whines about no one being able to "make [her] feel like a bride," and says, "Thank God I was strong enough to know my worth, and kept searching for my 34W dress..." Jesus, shut the fuck up, you hideous, arrogant twat. "Thank God" you were "strong enough to know [your] worth?" You're talking about a fucking wedding dress, for god's sake, not years of abuse in a slave ring that you had to escape from. (And if you truly were so strong and knew your "worth," you could have, I dunno, stopped shoveling enough food to feed an entire normal family of six down your gullet at Mach-1 every second of every day?) No one owes you "feeling like a bride." You didn't climb the fucking Eiger, you bought a goddamn dress--a white satin tent. There was nothing at all "strong" about what you did, okay? Let's stop pretending fat women deserve some kind of applause for being "strong enough" to keep shopping.
I mean, wedding dresses are important. I know. I wore one. I loved it. I still have it. But I don't think I deserve congratulations for being "strong enough" to try on several dresses before I found one that fit me right and that I felt good in. Where's my award for being "strong enough" to keep trying on dresses until I found one that flattered my tiny bust and wide ribcage? Ladies, anybody here feel like they ought to be congratulated for being "strong enough" to keep trying on wedding dresses until you found the right one? For "knowing your worth" and not just throwing on any old thing, but continuing to search?
In fact, I've bought several dresses in the last month or so, now that the summer heat is here. Do I get separate back-pats for each of those, or should I just throw myself a big "Congratulations! You bought an article of clothing!" party? (Although, heh, my "award" comes when I try the dress on in the store and get the evil-eye from passing fatties. Or when my husband's eyes get all wide when I try it on for him. Those are good moments.)
"Thank God I was strong enough to know my worth." Just go fuck yourself, cow.
Although, it is good to have stories like this, to wave in front of the "muh guhnetics/diets don't work" crowd.
But, eh, still, fuck these two.
[–] slendermiddleage 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
DorothyMantooth, this is an especially inspiring rant and I will quote pieces of it forever! " 'strong enough' to keep on shopping", " 'you bought an article of clothing' party". And bonus points for "alliteration and barnyard allusion all in one"! Nicely done!
[–] DorothyMantooth ago
Thank you, m'dear. I appreciate that very much!
You all inspire me to get back to work, you really do. I'd thank you all in the acknowledgments of my next book if that wouldn't get me tarred and feathered. ;-) (Unfortunately, it will, and that's if my agent & editor were to allow me to risk it in the first place, which I think they would probably not.) So I just have to thank you all here.