Posted by: TheStapler
Posting time: 2.5 years ago on
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Archived on: 9/13/2018 10:00:00 AM
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26 upvotes, 3 downvotes (90% upvoted it)
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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
It is stupid that losing weight has become an achievement. It is overcoming a problem that never needed to exist in the first place. Enough people invented problems for themselves to solve and then pretended like they achieved something of note.
[–] Lurkerontheroof 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
This case is especially irritating, because each year there are first responders and even ordinary people who risk their lives/go above and beyond the call of duty to save humans and/or animals, or who create a charity that ameliorates suffering, etc. But THESE FUCKERS deserve Hollywood's red carpet treatment??? fucking hell.
[–] Artie 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I'm more impressed by people who work in forestry for their important yet dangerous part in the economy than I am of these people.
[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago (edited ago)
It should just kill itself. The both of them, actually, if i'm being honest. Also, a few things that bother me...
Uhm, that's not inspiring, it's disgusting. The fact that the she beast referred to gaining 100lbs as "a little bit of weight" (when it went from 390 to just short of 500 within an 18 month period) is reason enough to kill them off. That's a whole human being, not a few pounds you gained from letting yourself go, you fat fucking slob.
Again, sorry but no. There's nothing strong or inspirational about eating yourself into super morbid death-fat status by the time you're 25. You know what's strong? Not weighing in at 500lbs and then dieting down to still being obese. You're literally a fucking farm animal at this point that should take a long waddle off a short drive thru that is perched ontop of a cliff. I could be onto something here, actually. I think I just found a way to kill them quicker.
Uhhh, have they seen him? Sure he wasn't as fat as her, but he was still an obese basement dwelling cave monster. He's no catch. Just because he accepted his fate and dated the lowest hanging fruit around without protest doesn't mean he deserves a medal. No self respecting woman would date that thing.
Oh seriously, fuck me. Their dreams were selfish, and furthermore why even bother losing weight if your goal is to still be morbidly obese? I'm not gonna praise you for still not being able to fit into a plane seat, just because you were once too obese to fit on a plane at all. Seriously, did you see the "after" picture of her in the seat? If you were to attempt to put the arm rest down, it would cut its adipose-laden hip off. It's ass is still wider than the seat and if I had to sit next to that pig I'd be dinging the flight attendant call button with the fire of a thousand suns because I didn't pay full price to share half my seat with some fat smelly barnyard creature. That shit belongs in cargo, not next to me salivating for the snack cart.
My biggest pet peeve and why I'll never congratulate an obeast on its progress is demonstrated throughout this article. You ate yourself into a disability and want me to praise you for.... What exactly? Not eating an entire countries yearly GDP worth of food for a week? Yea that's not happening. Furthermore, you certainly lost weight but you're still a subhuman obese piece of shit that ruined your body beyond repair. You don't get brownie points teehee for losing weight if you're still obese, which you are. When you become human sized with a BMI of 23 or lower, then perhaps we can talk, but probably not. I don't praise people for not doing meth, because they shouldn't be doing meth in the first place. Same goes for being a cookie-jar rapest.
[–] OdinsMessenger 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
"take a long waddle off a short drive thru"
Dammit, I was really getting into the hate then you threw that in there and made me start giggling.
[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Sorry, muh condishuns were making muh blood pressure rise, lol. Had to throw in some comedic relief before I hulked my computer through the wall again.
[–] jynnan_tonnyx 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
"A tale as old as time, Beta and the Beast..."
After losing 2 people's worth of weight, it could find a tall building and easily glide to Florida.
[–] MeowsephStalin 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
Can you imagine all that skin flopping around when they have relations? Cringe*
[–] rshackleford252525 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
no.
[–] PineapplePee 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Well I wish I was you.
[–] Pm_me_ur_genetiks ago
I didn't want to 🤢
[–] Lurkerontheroof ago
>_<
[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
The tin-eared "author" of this piece, "Asher Weber," ought to be shot for crimes against the English language. Seriously, count the number of times that semiliterate uses the word "life" or "lives" in a single sentence.
As for the cow and her cuck (I have never used that word, but couldn't resist the alliteration and barnyard allusion all in one)...my favorite part, I think, aside from the ridiculously undeserved fame and awards, is the part where she whines about no one being able to "make [her] feel like a bride," and says, "Thank God I was strong enough to know my worth, and kept searching for my 34W dress..." Jesus, shut the fuck up, you hideous, arrogant twat. "Thank God" you were "strong enough to know [your] worth?" You're talking about a fucking wedding dress, for god's sake, not years of abuse in a slave ring that you had to escape from. (And if you truly were so strong and knew your "worth," you could have, I dunno, stopped shoveling enough food to feed an entire normal family of six down your gullet at Mach-1 every second of every day?) No one owes you "feeling like a bride." You didn't climb the fucking Eiger, you bought a goddamn dress--a white satin tent. There was nothing at all "strong" about what you did, okay? Let's stop pretending fat women deserve some kind of applause for being "strong enough" to keep shopping.
I mean, wedding dresses are important. I know. I wore one. I loved it. I still have it. But I don't think I deserve congratulations for being "strong enough" to try on several dresses before I found one that fit me right and that I felt good in. Where's my award for being "strong enough" to keep trying on dresses until I found one that flattered my tiny bust and wide ribcage? Ladies, anybody here feel like they ought to be congratulated for being "strong enough" to keep trying on wedding dresses until you found the right one? For "knowing your worth" and not just throwing on any old thing, but continuing to search?
In fact, I've bought several dresses in the last month or so, now that the summer heat is here. Do I get separate back-pats for each of those, or should I just throw myself a big "Congratulations! You bought an article of clothing!" party? (Although, heh, my "award" comes when I try the dress on in the store and get the evil-eye from passing fatties. Or when my husband's eyes get all wide when I try it on for him. Those are good moments.)
"Thank God I was strong enough to know my worth." Just go fuck yourself, cow.
Although, it is good to have stories like this, to wave in front of the "muh guhnetics/diets don't work" crowd.
But, eh, still, fuck these two.
[–] slendermiddleage 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
DorothyMantooth, this is an especially inspiring rant and I will quote pieces of it forever! " 'strong enough' to keep on shopping", " 'you bought an article of clothing' party". And bonus points for "alliteration and barnyard allusion all in one"! Nicely done!
[–] DorothyMantooth ago
Thank you, m'dear. I appreciate that very much!
You all inspire me to get back to work, you really do. I'd thank you all in the acknowledgments of my next book if that wouldn't get me tarred and feathered. ;-) (Unfortunately, it will, and that's if my agent & editor were to allow me to risk it in the first place, which I think they would probably not.) So I just have to thank you all here.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
[–] TheStapler [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
There are other solutions. "Final solutions," one might say.
[–] enginedriver13 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Good grief, and then it won some award for being an “inspiring strong woman”...not for discovering something to benefit humanity, or for rescuing orphans in war-torn countries or something like that which normal humans would find inspiring...but for the “huge accomplishment” of shoving a little less cake into its maw!
[–] Pm_me_ur_genetiks 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Do we make drug addicts, liquor addicts or smokers famous once they stop? Why should hams be treated any differently.