My 16-year-old son and I love to ridicule hams. I am frequently complaining to him about what shitty foods fats eat. He took this attitude to school last week.
His math teacher is a formerly male hamplanet of at least 300 pounds. Its wife recently divorced it. This teacher left class for a few minutes one day.
My son went to the teachers desk, removed more than half of its stash of Hohos chocolate cakes, and distributed them among the class. The teacher discovered the missing cakes some time later, and began investigating. Nobody has ratted him out so far. My son reports that he heard hamteach telling another teacher “I know exactly how many there were, I had 13 hohos in my desk, and then there were 6.”
The only details fats can keep track of is how much beetus they have.
I told my son he should place a bag of almonds in the desk.