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[–] DorothyMantooth ago
ITA, 100%. Online forums for women/heavily peopled with women tend to suck, especially leftist ones. (If you ever want to see those leftist "sisters" who 'support all women" turn on you, tell them you regret an abortion. Doesn't matter if you've been a regular member for years, with dozens of long PM conversations and in-jokes with numerous people; they will screech at you, call you a troll, call you a liar, imply or outright accuse you of being secretly a man...it's horrifying.) And I hear you on the couching-everything-in-gentle-caveats, too. Irritating as fuck. I once made the mistake of describing a wedding I'd been to once where the bride and groom were both virgins, and how sweet it was to see how excited they were for their wedding night. I got accused of "shaming" women who didn't "save themselves." Uh...I didn't save myself, either, and was in no way trying to imply that everyone should, I was just describing something really touching I saw once, sheesh, bitches, calm the fuck down. Not everything is about your lame asses. But heaven forbid that you get offended by something, especially if you're more conservative; they don't give a fuck about your feelings. It makes me sick, how shitty, emotional, and stupid most women are.
The only places I've found where women can speak our minds without fear (aside from here) are conservative forums or, surprisingly, most radfem forums; radfems tend to be genuine when they talk about sisterhood, and conservatives (both men and women) tend to be respectful and actually listen and pay attention.
[–] Sarcastatron_9000 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Wow. Usually I just tell them I'm pro-life or not a feminist, or talk about my traditional family values and how wonderful it is to be a mom, and that's all it takes.
Yes. Oh my gosh. It's dismaying how few women I feel like I can really talk to about things and not have to worry about causing offense.
[–] DorothyMantooth 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Haha, yes, telling them you love being a stay-home mom (so do I!!) or that you're not a feminist will do it, too. In my case the abortion thing was genuinely upsetting, because it was/is true and because I was hoping for some support (stupidly, I know, but again, it was a place I'd been hanging out for over a year)--it was in comments to an article about that very subject, and I finally felt brave enough to say it and was hoping for at least some virtual hugs and/or acknowledgment that regret does happen and is a real thing women deal with. But the same women who hand-hold and hug because some dumb bitch is upset that a man dared to say hello on the street (she feels so unsafe!) have only hostility for a woman dealing with a real, life-changing thing--a thing that surprised them because all they ever heard was that no woman ever regrets it, it's the best choice they ever made, it's all sunshine and lollipops. (Of course, they say this while also insisting that no woman ever makes the decision lightly, but we all know that logic and leftist women are barely acquaintances.) They especially hated hearing that the experience made me pro-life and that I think abortion hurts all women and is an excuse for male irresponsibility, sold as "liberation" to gullible women (I didn't say it in exactly those words, but let's be honest, that's what it is. They also hate hearing that no, it's not about "controlling women's bodies," it really is about babies' lives).
You can always PM me. :-) I'm rarely offended--even when I point out some comment or something that bugs me I'm not offended, and don't hold a grudge over it--I'm pretty smart and level-headed, give good advice, don't judge, and generally enjoy chatting with like-minded women.