A short and not so exciting story, but fats were offended and that's all that matters.
I was at ross on the hunt for some barstools within a struggling college student's budget and I only found one set of two. Beautiful, but double wide! While in the section, my dad called to ask how the search is going. Well I told him I found two, but they were too big. He asked what I meant by that saying barstools are standard, how on earth are they too big?? I responded saying these are not standard and are huge! Probably meant for fat people or something. Well I said that too loud because two she-whales spun around and gave me the nastiest glare. Was lit.