Dear Shitlady Moms,
Since I became a mother 3 months ago, I have noticed that I get angry on "fat behavior" a lot faster than before. Not only does it annoy me faster, it annoys me more than ever. At first I thought it was sleep deprivation or hormones but that's not what it is. I'm so upset because I'm disappointed and feel betrayed.
A woman with whom I used to spend a lot of time and might have called a friend annoys me beyond measure.
She is fat. She was a human before she was pregnant and now she is the typical "did not lose the baby weight" mother. She is also an absolute drama queen and completely incompetent.
She is a trained doctor who now stays home as a mother. But that does not mean that she does the domestic work. In addition to his work as a doctor, her husband does all the household chores and a lot of "emotional work" because his generally overwhelmed wife is constantly howling and demanding his attention. I would feel sorry for him, but he wanted to marry her. So that's his problem.
I already knew her during her pregnancy and at that time already listened to her constant moaning. She portrayed the pregnancy as if it were the most terrible burden in the world and herself as a poor victim of the adverse circumstances. Inexperienced and naive as I was, I thought her remarks were a bit exaggerated and whiny but also expected, should I be pregnant once, to suffer excessively. Then she gave birth to her daughter and the suffering and whining intensified to a degree that I had not thought possible.
A few days after she had born her daughter, I learned about my pregnancy. As much as I was happy, I also feared the following complaints. Apart from the usual first trimester malaise and back pain, my pregnancy was extremely good. But still I was on guard. Always prepared for the worst.
During my pregnancy, I and said woman had a lot of contact. I helped her a lot with her daughter, her household and various other things. I drove her and her daughter to the doctor, cooked regularly at their home, did household chores when I was visiting, and listened to her constant and constant moaning. Still naive and in good faith I expected to experience the same suffering, should my daughter be born. So, I made arrangements. I bought a large freezer and cooked countless healthy meals and sauces and snacks. I prepared to do lists for pediatrician appointments, organizational matters and bureaucratic matters. I designed the birth announcement card (insert photo for later) and prepared an address list.
My husband made fun of the extreme nest building and was obviously also worried about the storm that was ahead of us. Both of us were very afraid of the impending strain, the lack of sleep and all the suffering that we had seen with these acquaintances and others.
And then came the day of birth. It took a long time, was associated with complications and pain and was the biggest adventure of my life. After 18 hours I happily held my daughter in my arms. And what followed was not an endless suffering but a constant surprise.
The expected insurmountable difficulties did not materialize. My daughter screams, does not let me sleep much and demands the lion's share of my attention. I also regularly stand in front of the mirror and look at dark circles in which you could jump rope. Even I sometimes feel overwhelmed and want nothing more than to sleep. But it's all much less bad than expected.
My house is clean and mostly tidy, my fridge is filled with good food and I prepare healthy meals almost daily. My daughter is healthy, well-fed and happy. And I am also healthy, fit and happy. I train again three times a week and work on my "Postpartum summer body".
Unlike this woman. My constant surprise over things less bad than expected soon turned into anger. How incompetent do you have to be? Why do people waste a good healthy body? Why do you throw away a good education? Why do you mistreat a good man and spoil your child?
A child fed regularly with cakes by a wobbly mother. A woman who, like so many other women, has become lazy and fat. Crabs in a bucket. Women who are resting on their victim role. Women who are so unhappy with themselves that they pull others into misfortune. Fat mothers raising fat kids. Children who are fed with cake and fat logic before the first birthday.
We are surrounded by a greasy, obese society of losers. A society in which we are marginalized when we are open and honest. "Women have to hold together", it is said but no one mentions that translates as "no woman is allowed to be better than the other women, and should be punished if so".
Strengthen oneself for yourself and your children to achieve something, one is called a bad raven mother or overambitious, in any case harmful to their children.
This fat mother society disgusts me.