I attended a wake for a sibling of a friend recently. It was a sad affair but this one fatty made my night.
I had not seen fatty in more than 15 years. We had a massive falling out over her selfish and petty behavior. I called her out on it, she got pissed and made me out to be a horrible person to everyone I knew.
As I am waiting in line for my turn to pay my respects, I see a blob out of the corner of my eye as the line moves forward into the receiving room. Then I realized who it was.
There she was with her thunder thighs in leggings. At a wake. Leggings at a fucking wake!!! These were shiny legging that had slits down the side of the legs starting at mid thigh. The leggings were so tight her skin was bubbling out through the slits. This porker is nearly 40 and wearing that to a wake. Seriously???
I have always been under the impression that leggings lift and suck you in. Not in this case. She must have gained about a 175 pounds since I saw her last. The back of her knees were hanging down like lumpy dough and her ass was a mess of dents and dimples you could see through the leggings. To top it all off, she was so fat the leggings had stretched and you could see her skin tone and panty color through the black fabric. I was in utter shock and thankful she was not wearing a thong as seeing that through the fabric may have given me a heart attack, PTSD at the very least. My friend told me she was wearing a mid drift bearing top though I did not see that as she had a button down sweater on and I only saw her from the side.
If I had to guess, and I am awful at weight guessing, she looked to be a hefty 325 pounds at 5 foot 8, maybe more. It is hard for me to tell. Her gut was at that point where it was about to touch the top of her thighs. I could literally feel her hoof steps as she waddled from forty feet accross the room. I was at a loss for words. When I got to the end of the receiving line and comforted my friend, she stepped out of line for a little bit. We chatted and I did everything I could to lighten the situation. Out of no where she said "did you see xxxxxx? Holy shit she is huge! I didn't realize who it was at first. She smelled like sour milk and the desperate need for attention when she hugged me!" This is the sweetest girl in the world and it made me laugh out loud hearing her say something so mean. Her young son was sitting on my lap at this point and was giggling at what his mom said which made me laugh more.
Unknown to me, fatty had seen/heard me laugh from the next room she was in. I left and did not see her after I had paid my respects. When I got home a while later, another friend had sent me a screen shot of a Facebook post fatty had made about me as I have long been blocked from seeing fatty's page. She stated I was over dressed for the wake, looked like a "skank" and had laughed at my friend while she was mourning her sibling.
Apparently, I had dressed up in an effort to attract attention from men at the wake as the friends of her sibling are our age and had also left with a young man I had picked up there. Keep in mind we are nearly 40. What adult thinks like this?? Scratch that. Who at any age ever dresses to get attention from eligible men at a wake? She also posted that I had made my friend cry and fatty was left to "put xxxxxx back together emotionally" when I stormed out after "laughing in her face while she (my grieving friend) cried her eyes out." She did not use my name but described me well enough that anyone who knew me would know who she was talking about. I did not make my friend cry and fatty left minutes after I did so there as no comforting of my friend after I supposedly made her cry while I laughed at her. To be clear though, my friend was teary as she said fatty smelled and I did laugh but not at my friend being upset. I am a bitch, not a heartless cunt.
The best part about it was that a few people who attended who also know me and a few of my friend's own family members who were there called her out on the post. The post was taken down and she refused to acknowledge that she ever made the post. Just think about it. The family who was grieving the tragic death of a young man had to see her lies online after attending his wake. While everyone else who knew the young man and had attended the wake were posting pictures and memories of the him in a loving and sweet manner, this cunt was spreading lies and trying to make herself out to be a saint. You cannot make his shit up.
The fat has clearly moved to her brain and I fucking love it. My friend will no longer speak to her and realized her attendance at the wake was an attempt to get back on my friend's good side. We both talked later and we were astonished at the lengths this bitch would go to make up a lie and discredit me publicly. Fatty had gone on a massive Facebook blocking spree and seems to be avoiding calls and texts from mutual friends. It is full fatty melt down mode and I fucking love it. She did not even attend the funeral the next morning though she told my friend she had taken the day off to attend. She even made a point of saying how she was not going to get paid for taking the day off. I assume getting called out on her post made her stay at home instead and eat a gallon of ice cream while on Tumblr ranting about how brave she is for standing up to a bully. She also bailed on a remembrance dinner the next weekend. All of this in six days. This might be the hardest a couch bison has worked in six days in the history of the world.