My disapproval of fat acceptance was finally discovered at a recent family holiday party attended by folks related to my husband. I'm lucky enough to live in a fairly low fat part of the US, work in a low fat industry, and most of my friends and immediate family are fit or at least not fat. But over the years a few in-laws have thin shamed me, last year even making comments that I must be ill because it's not normal for anyone to keep their weight down as they get older.
One middle-aged gal like me had a tummy tuck and boob lift surgery a few years ago (she was about 30-40 lbs overweight at the time) and though she looked pretty good for three years or so, she now looks like she's gained about 60 lbs since I saw her last Xmas. She pulled me aside to have a quiet little conversation about what I might be secretly doing to stay slender. I told her I ate whatever I want. She didn't believe me, kept asking questions, and I tried to explain to her that I want to be slender so my calorie consumption follows my desire to be slender.
It was as if I were speaking a foreign language.
After I tried several ways to explain my food philosophy, she finally said, "So you think being overweight is bad?"
I'm thinking, isn't that what we're talking about?
So I said, "Well... yeah. You had that surgery and you're asking me about how I manage not to get fat so you must think it's bad, too. Don't you?"
She said "Well, now that I see how so many people are overweight and how diets don't work I don't think of it as BAD, really. We need to accept ALL sizes and ALL types of bodies and people, don't we?"
I was speechless. I really didn't know how to respond. So I just sat there with my mouth open for about 20 seconds before my (adult) daughter and her friend saved me by demanding my attention elsewhere.
Later I learned this woman told some other family members at the party that I was arrogant and prejudice against fat people.
In the car on the way home my husband and daughter (both human size) teased me about making enemies at the party because I'm such an arrogant disapproving bitch and we laughed about how the whole thing got blown out of proportion. Then we were quiet for awhile enjoying the holiday lights during the drive as it got darker.
Then my daughter said "Guess it's a good thing they don't know about your last few years lurking on fatpeoplehate."
I love you all. You keep me sane. And slender. Thank you.
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[–] slendermiddleage [S] 0 points 43 points 43 points (+43|-0) ago
And sorry about the wall of text. First time, plus I'm old and stupid.
[–] [deleted] 8 points 47 points 55 points (+55|-8) ago (edited ago)
[–] maverickjew 1 point 14 points 15 points (+15|-1) ago
yup!
[–] Ziggystrife 1 point 8 points 9 points (+9|-1) ago
If only I could double upvoat :(
[–] GassyMcGasface 4 points 1 point 5 points (+5|-4) ago
Gas them?
[–] 11518035? 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
I read the entire rant, which is rare. 2018 is the year fat people are again openly shamed.
[–] Hertz- 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
We all have to do our part to make that real.
[–] Workingsteel 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Your writing doesn't sound like that of a stupid person.
[–] 11517876? 0 points 31 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago
See that woman obviously felt bad that she had gotten fatter and instead of changing herself she thinks she can peer pressure you into applauding her obesity. How pathetic.
[–] EvilSeagull 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago
That was a set-up. She expected you to say you starved yourself or took drugs to stay thin. When you didn't say that she had to show her cards. Sounds like she has other serious issues since she made up stories about you. Best to avoid her.
[–] BoraxTheFungarian 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
It... Sheeeeeeeee-it.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
Sounds like someone is bitter about wasting a bunch of money on surgery only to regain it all and more because cake. As long as she can believe you are thin due to unhealthy measures, she doesn't have to consider the idea that she failed.
[–] Runner4lyfe87 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
My fat hate has cost several friends and family members. Some of whom have started losing weight by doing the exact fucking thing they got mad me for in the first place! Fuck em. They'll never admit I was right because they're too arrogant and ignorant to say "you were right runner4lyfe87, I cut back on beer and calories and the weight is falling off!"
Fuck the fat person mentality.
[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
No loss there mate. If they're willing to get that upset over a sensible position on an important issue, wave bye-bye with a grin.
[–] 44NJ9 ago
yea, fuck them, they always want their cake and your cake to eat, too.
[–] Deathstalker 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
They went from "how do I lose weight" to "being fat is ok" in less than a minute. That make perfect sense. It's about how long their bouts of motivation last.
[–] FreedomToast 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
I honestly do not have the patience for this kind of BS. I would want them to know I hate them, their intrinsic fatty identity and their surgical 'escape' from being fat. They objectively see fat as bad because of their choice, fuck 'em and let them know their hypocrisy. Family is a forced social structure.
The more antagonistic you make it the less you have to see them as you are "negative and body shaming". Let the fatties die in a hole. The only thing fatty could do was remove part of their stomach - how brave and forward-thinking. I wish I could understand mental illness; I could either spend years learning about it or get a lobotomy - clearly the brain is just being anti-neuronal.
[–] MaxAncap 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Family is overrated. <-This statement is underrated
[–] FreedomToast 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
I agree with you so much that I am dealing with the fallout of forgoing Christmas. I spent the days sleeping and playing Breath of the Wild and I clearly made the right choice.
[–] whoahson 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
You're right. The best decision I ever made was to let people know I find them disgusting. Sure, a few fatties at work got their panties in a wad, but several humans and I get together often now, because we bonded over it.
[–] heyfattybomsticks 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Ah yes, another fatty looking for the "secret" of staying thin. They all seem to want some miracle way to lose weight but don't want to change anything to make it happen, certainly not eat less. If they can't find the miracle method then their next task is to establish that the thin person is suffering and in pain from constant hunger. If the fatties don't get either the miracle cure, or the story of thin pain, then they revert to their normal state of jealous anger and delusion.
[–] Slagiatt 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
So eloquently put. Cheers.