I'm sure some of you are not looking forward to this Thanksgiving because there's always going to be a fat involved. I have two awesome cousins but I just don't feel like I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. One of my aunts is a ham and thinks she cooks good and expects others to gobble up her food like pigs. When she makes American food, she goes all out with the butter, cheese, and sour cream at least ala Simply Sara style "food". I cook better than this beast and I can taste when there's too much butter in something. She also speaks to my mom in a way that made both of us question her because she thinks I'm not healthy because "I don't eat enough." and that she saw some of my pics on Facebook and says that I'm more into "weird girly things" than "manly things". I prefer to spend more money on fashion and as for the "girly" things, she was referring to my ears and tails and anime wigs that I go out in to anime conventions. Sometimes my aunt tells my mom that I'm obsessed with K-pop culture (hey I like J-pop and C-pop culture too) and that I wasn't raised well enough to blend in with mainstream American society. My aunt even went on to say that "I don't eat like a real man".
My mom is on the brink of wanting to shitlord her at the Thanksgiving table and some other fat dude who is close friends to her. Look, I like food but I prefer mine to have quality over quantity and I'm not much into steak and mashed potatoes smothered in excess amounts of butter. I rather eat an elegant brunch over butter loaded American food.
As if this wasn't enough, my aunt talks about how good the food is in America than back in Vietnam and she couldn't get enough of it because everything in America tastes good to her. Sorry missy but I rather eat my fabulous smoked salmon eggs benedict topped with salmon roe instead of a bowl of meat and mash with liters of butter.
I'm a brunch boy and I like to live an elegant lifestyle with quality over quantity. Even my awesome cousins prefer the life of brunch than the life of lard because humans are more fun than fatties.
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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
Fatso aunt: "You don't eat like a real man."
You: "Since you're doing such a good job of it for me, I figured I'd try being a little more sensible."
Fin