I'm just so FUCKIN FURIOUS RIGHT NOW. I think those of you with kids will really understand the depths of my hatred and RAGE.
I had to give a ride to a friend of a friend who is a nasty ham planet beast and my hate knows no bound right now. I hate this FAT BITCH and normally I wouldn't give her a ride but I'd already said I was going home and her house is directly on the way to mine. This planet is 375+ and ugly as fuck. She has bad breath from all that SCARFING ALL DAY LONG and she breathes really hard. She's the kind of ham planet that walks into any room and immediately PLOPS on the nearest couch or chair. I mean ALWAYS!
My 1.5 year old daughter is the car with us and says, "momma I'm hungry." I usually have snacks with me but I was out longer than I intended and was all out of what we'd brought. So I scrounge around in the center console and find an emergency bag of crackers. I hand her a few back told ham planet to hold the open bag. (otherwise 18 month old will spill them all over.)
MY MISTAKE, I KNOW!
So a little while later my daughter pipes up with "MORE, MOMMA" and ham planet hands me AN EMPTY BAG. An EMPTY FUCKING BAG.
WHAT THE FUCK. WHy did you eat the baby's crackers? The disgusting COW actually shook her bottom lip in and out puting and say, "but I was hungry."
YOU FUCKING SELFISH SHIT BAG LOSER FAT FUCK BITCH. YOU STOLE THE ONLY FOOD YOU KNEW I HAD IN THE CAR FOR THE BABY. A BABY!!! YOU SELFISH FUCKING FUCK. I have never, ever wanted to punch someone as badly I as I wanted to punch her. I wanted to shake her, I wanted to slap her, I wanted to scream and beat her up. I was almost physically seeing red, I was so mad. MOMMA BEAR MODE ENGAGED. This happened 2 days ago and every time I think about it, my blood boils. You are a 375+ pound MORBIDLY OBESE ADULT who stole the last crackers from A BABY! I am not a violent person, but when you mess with my baby you are messing with the wrong momma and I have never wanted to HURT someone so badly. I wanted to knock that fat fucking pout of hers right off her hairy fucking face.
I actually pulled the car over and said, in a quiet, even tone: you know what - get out. Get out of my car before I hurt you. She actually looked surprised and said, "Are you serious!?" all wide eyes.
I shocked myself & actually said, "GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. YOU. FAT. FUCK."
Listen... this is not something I would normally say out loud to someone. I'm not violent. I'm not confrontational, I'm a very quiet librarian type. Small town nice, ya know? But you at my baby's fucking crackers you dumb cunt. I'm sure ham beast it going to whine on facebook that someone called her fat and hurt her feeeeeelings. IDGAF.
She got out of the car after whining and complaining and I drove off and left the ham beast standing there on the sidewalk. IDGAF how it got home. IDGAF if anyone is mad at me for kicking it out of my car. Oh, and I doubt it walked the last 1/2 mile home - that beast hasn't walked more than 20 steps for at least 10 years.
FUCK YOU BITCH. YOU STOLE THE LAST FOOD FROM A BABY. RE-THINK YOUR LIFE, YOU FUCKING LOSER FAT FATTY FUCK
Thank you for listening, I feel so much better.