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[–] Hammorous 2 points -1 points (+1|-2) ago 

Scientists estimate that parts of the USA will be underwater by the year 2050 if something isn’t done soon about overweight Americans and their effect on the planet’s tectonic plates.

“If we don’t start deporting the heaviest of our citizens right now, it might be too late,” Dr. Phelan pointed out, “obesity is literally bringing America to hell with it”.

I so wish this article was true.

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[–] Siacca 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

We should deport them to places where the citizens are starving, roast the fatties over a fire pit and hold a luau for the people that need it most. Kill two birds with one stone.