2
2

[–] Carsandsarcasm 2 points 2 points (+4|-2) ago  (edited ago)

I laughed. We always said it would be nice for all the fats to go to an island to die. Well they will turn America into an ever-dwindling island and eventually drown. It is a happy ending after all. But then, once they are all dead, America will float back up and we can repopulate it with shitlords. It will become the Shitlordia we always dreamt of!

0
1

[–] Siacca 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That's something that I would have expected to see on The Onion. Every obeast eating 3000 cows and 14 tons of French fries a year. That sounds about right.

The next report will say that due to the added mass of these bacon bandits, there's been an increase in the Earth's gravitational pull and the moon is going to crash into the planet.

2
-1

[–] Hammorous 2 points -1 points (+1|-2) ago 

Scientists estimate that parts of the USA will be underwater by the year 2050 if something isn’t done soon about overweight Americans and their effect on the planet’s tectonic plates.

“If we don’t start deporting the heaviest of our citizens right now, it might be too late,” Dr. Phelan pointed out, “obesity is literally bringing America to hell with it”.

I so wish this article was true.

0
0

[–] Siacca 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

We should deport them to places where the citizens are starving, roast the fatties over a fire pit and hold a luau for the people that need it most. Kill two birds with one stone.

2
-1

[–] Chimaira92 2 points -1 points (+1|-2) ago  (edited ago)

Is that site attempting to be the onion?

0
1

[–] FupaTupa [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It's better than The Onion bit some of the humour is distinctly Irish so it doesn't always carry over.