Found story on FB-
"This photo was taken of me moments after a server at McMenamins asked me if I could put on a shirt.
He repeatedly said that this is "a family restaurant" and "no shoes, no service" while I just sat silently stunned.
This experience was jarring. Honestly, it took a moment to sink in. At first when asked to put on a shirt, I was confused and looked around the table at my friends to figure out who wasn't wearing a shirt.
As I quickly realized he was talking to me I was so stunned I didn't have words.
One of the folks I was with tried to explain to him that we just got done swimming at the pool because I was wearing a hot pink swim top, the server pushed forward and kept repeating "family restaurant" and "no shoes, no shirt, no service" and then in what was probably 10 seconds, but felt like hours, we got up and left.
After spending a few moments stunned and several moments angry, I ended up breaking down crying on the sidewalk. I'm grateful that I was with three other fat queer folks who knew what had happened to me, that I didn't have to explain. I'm grateful that they all stood around me and held me while I cried on the sidewalk.
This story is hard to share. I'm angry that my first response to being shamed for my body is to want to shrink, to disappear, to wish for a different, small, more "acceptable" body. I'm angry that I live in a culture that some stranger felt it was literally his job to let me know that my body isn't acceptable, that I need to cover it. I'm angry because I spent this morning sobbing and feeling like my body is obscene and not "family friendly" and that the person who said this to me will not even have a second thought about this.
I'm angry because I know that a thin person could wear this exact outfit to any restaurant and not be bothered or threatened refusal of service. I'm sharing this because I think it's important to let people know that fat shaming exists. Fat shaming is real. Fat shaming is violent. Fat shaming hurts. I'm hurting. This hurts.
And furthermore, I'm embarrassed that I'm hurting because body shame is real and vulnerable and painful. I will not be back to McMenamins. And I hope you won't either. But furthermore, I'm writing this for myself and for other fat folks as a reminder: My fat body is not the problem. My body is not obscene. My body is beautiful and perfect and mine. I deserve better than this. We, fat folks, deserve better than this. I'm allowed be fat and to take up space. I'm allowed to be fat and wear whatever I want. I'm allowed to be fat in public. I'm allowed to have a fat body and feel safe. I'm allowed to exist."
Picture of what she was wearing in comments.
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[–] Gravityisreal 0 points 34 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago
"...some stranger felt it was literally his job to let me know that my body isn't acceptable, that I need to cover it."
it was his fucking job. What a fat
Idiot. Redundant word.[–] [deleted] 0 points 25 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago
[–] Exhibit_Control 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Typical co-opting of a group that does experience the threat of day to day violence in order to draw a false equivalency for pity points. Fuck this sludge-sucking blubber ballista.
[–] EarthquakesAreScary 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
Because LGBT wanted wanted to play the "nice" and inclusive card for too long and didn't kick them out.
[–] Chimaira92 3 points 0 points 3 points (+3|-3) ago
Because they all fall under the term 'mental illness'.
[–] Laughingllama [S] 0 points 25 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago
https://imgoat.com/uploads/364d3f0f49/31281.jpg
[–] Pm_me_ur_genetiks 0 points 31 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago
How is that appropriate to wear at a family restaurant? Dumb cow.
[–] Z3xxy9 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
You spelled "ever" wrong.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 25 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago
[–] swimfanfan 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
I expected, hearing 'swim top,' that she was wearing one of those tankini tops that covered her gut. This is so inappropriate!
[–] Lurkerontheroof 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago (edited ago)
Same, and holy smoking Jesus she's exceptionally nasty and that top looks flimsy as fuck, who wants to see that fail at its udder-shielding mission while eating :O
And just recalled that as a teen have been sent back out of beach diners a few times due to either no-shoes or to cover up bathing suits with a shirt or wrap. I didn't have a breakdown, just went back out to the car to throw them on or reached into my bag for them and put them on. But this narcissist sack of lard is special, barf.
[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Ditto. And I agree-much worse than I imagined!
[–] shitlord4life 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago
The thighs made me throw up a little on my mouth. What a fucking sick entitled cunt to think wearing a bra to a family restaurant is ok for ANYONE and its always the oppreshun olympics with lardsacks like her.
[–] niggapls 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I went back to see the thighs after your comment and now I regret it
[–] Perron 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Put a shirt and some pants. And a hijab.
[–] shrinkydinks 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
And a casket.
[–] Runway22L 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
"My body is beautiful and perfect and mine" I'm sorry to be the one to tell you because your gross but your body ISN'T beautiful, your body DEFINITELY ISN'T PERFECT and you should be glad it's yours because NO ONE ELSE WANTS IT!!! I'm REALLY sorry that no one who claims to love you had the decency to tell you what I just did because they might have saved you those buttery whale tears and you'd definitely have a better life where people might actually WANT to see you in a bikini instead of that fatkini you're wearing!
[–] Laughingllama [S] 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
LOl beautifully said. Major props to that server for not giving in to their blubbering.
[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
If anyone knows what city this is in, please respond. I am, literally, writing the manager a thank you note. Not joking.
[–] PhenixJan 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I've always called them bigkinis!
[–] Squarshed 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
No, a thin person could not wear that exact outfit because a god damn bikini is not appropriate attire for a sit down restaurant. No one wants you in their restaurant anyway, much less half dressed, getting grease and buttery tears all over the damn place.
[–] Nahfuckreddit 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
A thin person would know better than to wear a bikini to the restaurant. The fat probably wants to wear the least amount of clothing possible so people get used to seeing disgusting bodies and maybe start accepting that shit. Ewwwww
[–] Squarshed 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
It's trying to portray confidence. And doing a great job of it by crying on multiple people in the parking lot.
[–] runbecausecake 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yes! Have they never seen the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" signs before? Maybe it's because I've lived in tropical tourist hot spots, but I thought that was common knowledge.. the victim mentality grosses me out as much as the fat. :|
[–] Squarshed ago
Seriously! It's one thing if it were a food stand on the beach or something, but I would want to change into actual clothes even if I were going to eat inside at a McDonalds.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
So it was at a table of fats and it was the only one still wearing a swim top. Then it was the only one to be asked to leave and so this obviously because all fat people are oppressed? It seems to me like this had nothing to do with fat or else everyone would have been kicked out.
[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
DIAF pig. No one wants to see your utters or cottage cheese thighs. No one should be subjected to them. Fuck off with your shit and just fucking die.
[–] R_Guilliman 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
''fat and queer folks''
Insert more buzzwords here. Jesus