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[–] blooberry 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Lol the title reminded me of my mother. She puts a mixture that consists of mayo and ketchup on her tacos.

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[–] JustNo 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That shit is called 'Fry Sauce' in the lovely state of Utah where I'm from. Hams put it on fries, burgers, corn dogs, basically everything. That and ranch dressing. For a state full of "healthy" Mormons who don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, there's sure a shitload of obesity and opioid painkiller addicts. And we've got 5 national parks and a shitload of mountains and awesome stuff to do outside, so there's really no excuse to not get off your ass, put down the fork, go outside and do something.

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[–] trexrunner 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

As someone from Denver, Utah makes me so angry. Objectively, it's the most spectacular state in the lower 48 - better than Colorado even - but it's people are the worst. It should be a shitperson's paradise, instead it's a hillbilly hell.

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[–] get_into_the_box 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Dude, I fucking love Utah. I had so much fun the last time I went to Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon.

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[–] FickleFlame107 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That shit ain't right.

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[–] PenguinOrgy 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

gag

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[–] Kaleidowave 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Not a great story but I did see some fats today. Forgot it was Cinco de Mayo and chose a Mexican restaurant for lunch with my girlfriend and her older Pakistani classmate. She's teaching him to drive because he doesn't have family in the area and, being deaf, the pool of people who can communicate with him well enough to provide instruction is limited. So my girlfriend stepped up. Typically she just has him drive her around to her errands. Today, I helped with the lesson on parking.

Anyway, I'm meeting them at this restaurant and arrive a few minutes before them. I walk in to find two teenaged greeters chatting amongst themselves behind a podium. They're set against the sad backdrop of a fat wedding DJ raffling off shitty Corona-themed clothing near the bar. One hostess is a smallfat, the other a skinny fat. I'm no aesthetician, but they're both wearing crudely wrought makeup. In not sure if the effect is from buying the cheap stuff, poor color choices, or not blending it properly, but it's the sort of high contrast look that reminds me of hookers and tends to make me feel a sort of guilty irony for the wearer, whose efforts at sophistication are broadcasting their lack of it. Both seem mediocre at their jobs, but do eventually notice my presence when I've stood at the podium for a few seconds. I think one is training the other. Most of the regular staff seems to be at the bar. Good help us.

I'm escorted to my table with minimal confusion, and quickly checked in on by my waiter, who looks to be solidly in the obese category, but not so fat that his silhouette wouldn't be recognizably "human." I'm joined by my girlfriend and her friend a few minutes later.

The waiter is noticeably bummed out when nobody wants drinks. I don't think the possibility of people just eating lunch on Cinco de Mayo without reflexively pouncing on the opportunity to wash it down with 1000 calories of margaritas was even in his playbook. Once he got over the shock he was actually on top of things, timing-wise, though that might have been because so few people were seated in the restaurant proper or attributable to the lean kitchen staff. He did occasionally speak words to the deaf guy Really Slowly/Loudly, which was awkward.

Anyway, we got our stuff and left. I'm sure I missed some cultural anthropology opportunities at the bar full of day drinking hams, but I wanted to focus on the people I was with. I'll keep an eye out next time.

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[–] Mike-Sanders 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Working an indy wrestling show in Iowa. Dear Iowa, what in the hot, steaming fuck? Is this whole state fat? Midwest crowds are always pretty hammy, but I haven't seen a woman in this venue under 200 lbs and the only men that aren't fat are the wrestlers.

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[–] veganesthie 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I was at my regular bar that I've been going to for years. This monstrousity in lipstick decides to butt into my conversation with a friend. I was telling him that the bar closed at 10 but that on Fridays and Saturdays it used to close at 11. Lardbarge says with an attitude and an eye roll "they close at ten scoff" I say I know that but they used to close at 11 on Fridays. She goes "uh the door says 10" so I turn to a bartender who was off that night and say "didn't they used to close at 11? On Fridays?" Bartender agrees with me and fatty rolls her eyes hufflepuffs inside. She was a cunt to me all night so I just ignored her. She probably went home and wrote on tumblr about how a skinny bitch was being rude to her. I wasn't even rude. She was. Because fats are miserable.

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[–] PollyHotPocket 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I'm staying inside to avoid the spicy hams celebrating their culture. Ugh!

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[–] GreffeduFoie 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Anyone seen elote? Grosses me out. It's grilled corn slathered in mayo and chili powder. No offense meant to any Mexican shitpeople out there, I just hate mayo.

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[–] MurderParty 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Not really CdM related, but I held the door for a lardbarge as she was carrying a little side-table out the thrift-store doors. She didn't even look at me, and even when I walked past where she set the table down two steps out the door, she acted like I wasn't even there.

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[–] LittleBittz 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I always loudly and pointedly say you're welcome when people act like that.

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[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

My neighbors. Thats it. I live in Texas.