My boyfriend and I went to a two-day music festival over the weekend. That's typically not my thing, but he bought the tickets and I was pretty excited to spend a stress-free weekend with him. The reason I say "it's not usually my thing" is because I didn't know what to expect, but had anticipated mainly normal people considering this event took place outdoors in extreme heat. . . over the course of two days, from 11 in the morning to 11 at night.
We arrived Saturday morning just as things were kicking off and there were two types of people as far as the eye could see. . . FATS and drugged out old rocker chicks (who at least had decent bodies, but man were they worrrrrn looking). We were the only two fit people in line, I kid you not.
Here's the thing. Where we live, it's always hot. And when it's hot, one sweats. If you're a normal human, then you sweat a normal amount. If you're a pig, then you sweat buckets. The smell coming off of the crowd was so disgusting I could hardly breathe.
Here are just a few things that happened:
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Two fatties try to sit down to find space in the shade. One was maybe 250 pounds. The other had to have been 400 pounds. She was wearing a black dress, but it had like a squirt or something. How do I know? Because this bitch bent over and I saw her sweaty fabric between her thighs. I wanted to gag.
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There were fans set up that were centrally located so people had a chance to cool off. That was the idea at least. Too bad you couldn't get anywhere close to a fan because every spot was taken up by a pig. The 400 pound woman was in front of them for hours. When I said something to the boyfriend about her taking up a fan, he said, "No babe, she's taking up fanS. Multiple. A quarter of those mfers trying to get air aren't able to. (because she's so large.)"
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I ran to get us beers and when I left, a former male came and stood right next to my boyfriend (in my spot). BF said, hey man, my GF is with me, she just ran to get us beer. This motherfucker argued with him, said there was enough space (there wasn't, and this guy took up 1.5 of our spots, not huge but fat) and didn't want to move. We're not assholes, this wasn't near the stage. This was in the way back where they had some shade. Fats are selfish and rude.
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Guy walking around, probably ~450 lbs, panniculus hanging out from under his shirt for the world to see.
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~350 former male walking around wearing a cape? Was with two other fatties that were also oddly dressed.
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Fat girl (maybe 210) had fake blood dripping down the sides of her mouth. Sure, this was a rock concert, but she was the only bitch there that looked like that.
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200 lb chick with just a bathing suit top on and weird ass short shorts. She was standing up rubbing her belly like she treasured it. Sadly, most of the women in this attire were fat af.
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While watching Soundgarden, a big girl went crowdsurfing. We had two fatties that smelled like urine and deathsweat right in front of us, when fattie overhead passed over fatties in front of us, the one guy turns to us and laughs and called the girl "squishy". Boyfriend stared at him and laughed out loud directly in the guy's face.
On the plus side, the music was great. We met a few fellow shitlords randomly and joked around about the fatties together and I didn't think about work once over the weekend.
TLDR: Fats infested concert. Smelled and were rude. In other news, grass is green.
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[–] billyvvinz 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Last one wife and I went to (elbow concert) we got the backstage passes to meet Saint Asonia. She really likes Adam Gontier for whatever fucking reason, and their bassist went to the same high school as us. But yeah, they were all in shape (and I don't mean round). Not bad for a bunch of stoners/addicts.