My boyfriend and I went to a two-day music festival over the weekend. That's typically not my thing, but he bought the tickets and I was pretty excited to spend a stress-free weekend with him. The reason I say "it's not usually my thing" is because I didn't know what to expect, but had anticipated mainly normal people considering this event took place outdoors in extreme heat. . . over the course of two days, from 11 in the morning to 11 at night.
We arrived Saturday morning just as things were kicking off and there were two types of people as far as the eye could see. . . FATS and drugged out old rocker chicks (who at least had decent bodies, but man were they worrrrrn looking). We were the only two fit people in line, I kid you not.
Here's the thing. Where we live, it's always hot. And when it's hot, one sweats. If you're a normal human, then you sweat a normal amount. If you're a pig, then you sweat buckets. The smell coming off of the crowd was so disgusting I could hardly breathe.
Here are just a few things that happened:
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Two fatties try to sit down to find space in the shade. One was maybe 250 pounds. The other had to have been 400 pounds. She was wearing a black dress, but it had like a squirt or something. How do I know? Because this bitch bent over and I saw her sweaty fabric between her thighs. I wanted to gag.
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There were fans set up that were centrally located so people had a chance to cool off. That was the idea at least. Too bad you couldn't get anywhere close to a fan because every spot was taken up by a pig. The 400 pound woman was in front of them for hours. When I said something to the boyfriend about her taking up a fan, he said, "No babe, she's taking up fanS. Multiple. A quarter of those mfers trying to get air aren't able to. (because she's so large.)"
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I ran to get us beers and when I left, a former male came and stood right next to my boyfriend (in my spot). BF said, hey man, my GF is with me, she just ran to get us beer. This motherfucker argued with him, said there was enough space (there wasn't, and this guy took up 1.5 of our spots, not huge but fat) and didn't want to move. We're not assholes, this wasn't near the stage. This was in the way back where they had some shade. Fats are selfish and rude.
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Guy walking around, probably ~450 lbs, panniculus hanging out from under his shirt for the world to see.
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~350 former male walking around wearing a cape? Was with two other fatties that were also oddly dressed.
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Fat girl (maybe 210) had fake blood dripping down the sides of her mouth. Sure, this was a rock concert, but she was the only bitch there that looked like that.
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200 lb chick with just a bathing suit top on and weird ass short shorts. She was standing up rubbing her belly like she treasured it. Sadly, most of the women in this attire were fat af.
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While watching Soundgarden, a big girl went crowdsurfing. We had two fatties that smelled like urine and deathsweat right in front of us, when fattie overhead passed over fatties in front of us, the one guy turns to us and laughs and called the girl "squishy". Boyfriend stared at him and laughed out loud directly in the guy's face.
On the plus side, the music was great. We met a few fellow shitlords randomly and joked around about the fatties together and I didn't think about work once over the weekend.
TLDR: Fats infested concert. Smelled and were rude. In other news, grass is green.
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[–] Porcosweat 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
You can still rock in america... Ok maybe not because the fats eat the band
[–] KikiCat 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
How can you tell how much they weigh? Once they get past 200 they all look planety. I guess size of pannus? Third chin?
[–] twobyfour [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
You kind of look and think:
Hey, that thing either needs to shape up or they're going to get worse. (overweight)
That one is a big mother fucker. (overweight bordering obese)
That one is a huge mother fucker, how are they moving around? How are they comfortable? (obese)
That body should not be able to support that weight. How is this happening? The human body is a marvel. I can't look at this body without being physically ill (super obese).
I'm actually shit at judging weight, but those numbers make sense in my head.
[–] Celtic_Queen 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The first fatty you say about with the "squirt" in-between her legs - do you mean that you could see that she had wet herself or something? It is hilarious that she spent the day in front of the fans, fats suffer more in the summer - love that fact! :)
I have no idea how those whos pannus is too big to keep in trousers can have the balls to walk around with it flopped out like a hamburger, they are so fucking disgusting. Why would you wear a cape to a concert?! Weirdo, how were the ones with him oddly dressed? Lmao @ the fatshit with fake blood around her mouth, she would have known she was the only one so hopefully the concert was uncomoftable for
herit.I am glad you and your boyfriend had a great time regardless of the fat plague there! :)
[–] twobyfour [S] ago
Remember when you were little and your mom put you in a skirt, but since you were little and she expected you to try cartwheels it was the kind with built-in shorts? At least that's what my mom did for me. . . So this chick was wearing a short ass black dress and when she bent over there was a pair of built in shorts. But it was SOAKED. I actually feel my lip curling up in disgust right now just remembering it.
Plague is the perfect word, gf. It was awful, but oddly entertaining? I'm pretty sure we made a couple fairly uncomfortable with out shitlording. They were cool with it at first but I think they thought we took it too far. IMO, it wasn't far enough. Shame until the world is normal sized again.
[–] Celtic_Queen 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Oh gods, just imagine that thing cartwheeling! Thank you for explaining, it sounds like she was one hell of a gross fatty, she must have stank.
I know what you mean, you feel revulsion at seeing just how many there are but its fun to find the most disgusting ones? Hahaha! My SO and I feel and do the same when we go out, shitlords on here have said the fatties where I live are at levels similar to the US, I love triggering them but hate seeing the spread of obesity at the same time. Lol @ making the couple uncomfortable, you must have been breaking some fat logic they had. You are so right, shame is all they deserve, I wonder how "fat and proud" they would be if everyone human sized stared at them with disgust as they walked around anywhere.
[–] fattycake 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I'm going to a similar festival this weekend. That's what I'm scared about most, fatties crowdsurfing and landing on me. Or trying to grope me because they can't get any females normally.
Glad you enjoyed the concert overall though. I'm very excited for this weekend. Rock on.
[–] Longstocking 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This sounds like you went to Rockville. Always fats there barely dressed and not giving a fuck.
[–] twobyfour [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Fort Rock (SWFL), but the fats barely dressed yet not giving a fuck is spot on.
[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Why the fuck do fats dudes always think it's cool to wear capes?
[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This is so fucking tragic--and awesome.
[–] twobyfour [S] ago
I didn't even include the part about the chubby chick without a shirt on (but electrical tape over her nipples) asking the guys around her to put her on their shoulders. She eyed my bf for a good minute and was standing like, three inches behind him (I think maybe trying to rub her boobs and stomach pouch on him?) before I stepped directly between them.
She asked one dude for a lift up and he said he was too tired (aka can't lift your fat ass) and this other dude did it but I was SURE he was going to drop her the entire time.
I went up on the bf's shoulders because a. I'm not fat and b. he's super fit. and c. fuck that ho. No fear of being dropped.
[–] billyvvinz ago
UGH I'm going to this soon. Last concert experience I got seats close to the stage and this huge fat bitch was seated next to me. I had to lean into my wife for half the show. Once I got a good buzz going I stopped giving a shit and dug my elbow into fatties' side a few times on 'accident.' I mean the bitch was two inches into my already small seating space, fuck her. Anyway she didn't return for the third band.
Was A Perfect Circle any good?
[–] twobyfour [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I thought I'd be safe at a standing only (or sitting on the ground) concert, but that wasn't the case. Good on you for bringing out hte elbows.
TBH, that wasn't my typical style of music. I REALLY liked Dinosaur Pileup though. They were fucking fantastic. Goodbye June was the opener on Sunday, really liked them as well.
One of the bands, can't remember which, the lead singer was so buff. Actually, most of the performers were in shape. That was pretty cool.
[–] billyvvinz 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Last one wife and I went to (elbow concert) we got the backstage passes to meet Saint Asonia. She really likes Adam Gontier for whatever fucking reason, and their bassist went to the same high school as us. But yeah, they were all in shape (and I don't mean round). Not bad for a bunch of stoners/addicts.