Archived Shower Thought: Why don't we tell fats to eat a cheeseburger? (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by hypercat
Posted by: hypercat
Posting time: 3.7 years ago on
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Archived on: 6/13/2017 10:00:00 AM
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38 upvotes, 1 downvotes (97% upvoted it)
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Archived Shower Thought: Why don't we tell fats to eat a cheeseburger? (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by hypercat
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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 29 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago
"I can't because you already ate them all" hurts them way deeper, though. I doubt their brains could understand the context of yours.
[–] hypercat [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Ooooh. I like this.
[–] SomethingEthereal 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
If they seem confused by the comment, follow up with "Are you okay? Did you take your insulin?". That'll just make them cry, whether or not their blood sugar levels are low.
[–] shart_in_a_fat_roll 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
I like this yours better. Same general idea while implying that they're diabetic.
Another variation - "Are you ok? Did you have to take the stairs today? (condescending tone)"
[–] c-fox 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
Eat a (i.e.one) cheeseburger, not 3 you fat fuck.
[–] PiggerTrigger 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Subtle, I like it.
[–] Densz 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
As much as they try to put on a brave face, offending fat people is like shooting fish in a barrel. The worst insults are ones with a grain of undeniable truth in them. That's why saying "you seem hungry, eat a cheeseburger" would feel genuinely insulting to them and why it doesn't feel genuinely insulting when a fat says "eat a cheeseburger" to a human. There is no grain of truth there. Eat a cheeseburger why? So I can look like you?
[–] KikiCat 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
It's actually a salted cheese burger. We know it comes from a place of jealousy. That's why we're merely annoyed. I think the best triggering response is probably "tee hee, thanks for the compliment but I'm actually on a diet. Gotta get abs for the summer"
[–] hypercat [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I think it's more of a fighting response. Like, hey, skinny people eat burgers too, why do you keep telling us to eat one? YOU eat one ya fatty!
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
There most likely already eating said cheeseburger, so it'd be pointless to mention it.
[–] Sylph 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I like informing them that I do eat burgers. The idea that I can eat burgers and still be a size 2 just dumbfounds them.
[–] hypercat [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I know, it's kind of great.
[–] buttybootybutt 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
"Oh, did you leave any for me? I would have thought you already inhaled any within a ten mile radius."
[–] TheStapler 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
"Randy why don't you go on and eat a cheeseburger you basketball eatin' walrus ass mothafucka"