Archived Butterbarge can't make milk, baby starves to death (fedisbest.org)
submitted ago by kurigaru_san
Posted by: kurigaru_san
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Archived on: 5/27/2017 10:00:00 AM
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Archived Butterbarge can't make milk, baby starves to death (fedisbest.org)
submitted ago by kurigaru_san
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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
The sow's obesity obviously contributed to the issues both during and immediately following the pregnancy. I'm not looking to discuss that, because we all know what was wrong - an obese mother before and during pregnancy is at higher risk of complications to both herself and the baby.
What I do think is interesting is how medical professionals can push breast feeding so much, that it actually ends up being detrimental to the baby's health. My son was born 10 months ago and here's my experience:
I had high blood pressure the last month of my pregnancy (probably caused by all the bullshit my in-laws were putting us through - that's a novel in and of itself!) and I was severely depressed, so I was induced at 39 weeks. No major issues during labour or delivery, through the little guy needed CPAP and IV dextrose after he was born, which I was told is not uncommon. We both stayed in the hospital for 5 days so that I could be monitored for signs of post-partum depression.
Baby Ferret wouldn't latch. I tried so many times with the lactation consultant and nurses helping me, and he just didn't latch. The nurses had been giving him formula from a bottle so he was fed. The whole "breast is best" thing had been drilled into my head by every single medical professional I had seen the entire pregnancy. I felt like I was failing him because he wasn't getting breastmilk. One of the nurses brought me a breast pump and told me to pump every 3 hours for 15-20 minutes, so I did. Nothing was coming out, but I still pumped.
On the 3rd day my milk came in and I was able to pump enough to give to Baby Ferret in a bottle. I was ecstatic. I kept trying to breastfeed him directly, but he wasn't having it. By that night I decided that it was too stressful for me and too stressful for him to breastfeed, so I would just pump and bottle feed him the breast milk. Why not?
The next day (day 4) I told the lactation consultant my plan, and I got a long lecture on how it was possible to pump and bottle feed exclusively, but that it was a horrible idea and I should keep trying to breastfeed. She told me it was too much work to keep the bottles and pump clean and that if I didn't do it properly I could make my baby extremely ill, and that I would lose my suppply by the end of 3 months. I was upset and cried after she left, but I decided to keep pumping and feeding.
Later that night, my husband went to the nursing station to get some clean bottles for Baby Ferret. There the obeast nurse asked him why I wasn't breastfeeding, and he told her that I was, except I was pumping and we were bottle feeding our son the breast milk. The nurse asked him why I wasn't "breastfeeding him properly" and told him I needed to learn because what I was doing was never going to work.
I fed my son that way for nearly 4 months. Then my psychiatrist wanted to put me back on my lithium, which meant I couldn't continue to give my son breast milk. I felt horrible. I felt so guilty and selfish, and I delayed going back on the medication because I thought that would mean I was a horrible mother and a failure. My post-partum depression was extremely severe but I put off stopping for a few more weeks because all I could think of was how breastmilk was the best thing for my son and he needed it to survive.
After a suicide attempt, my psychiatrist told me it was no longer an option, I had to go back on my medication and my son had to start taking formula. I cried and cried. All these things I had heard my entire pregnancy avout how breastfeeding is so important for the first year made me feel so guilty that I couldn't give that to my child. It made my post-partum depression so much worse. Eventually I came to terms with the fact that my son needed a healthy mom more than he needed breast milk.
And that's what makes me so angry - the medical community pressuring mothers to breastfeed, even when it's detrimental to either her health or the baby's. I mean, I might not be sitting here right now - I might have succeeded in killing myself this past summer, all because I was being told (indirectly) that my son getting breast milk was more important than me being on the right medication. I think health professionals need to highlight the benefits of breastfeeding, but they also need to stop portraying formula as this horrible substance because it's not. The whole "breast is best" thing needs to stop - what's best is a healthy mom and baby.
(Sorry to go off on a long tangent, this is just a topic that really bothers me and I wanted to give my two cents.)
Edited for spelling
[–] kurigaru_san [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Tina Fey had a whole chapter in her book about this. She had a lot of trouble trying to nurse her first daughter and pumped for a while, then switched to formula. She really goes off on the "breast is best" people, calling them Teat Nazis.
[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yeah It's so awful. My sister hasn't even given birth yet, and she's already crying and upset because she's not sure if she will be able to breastfeed her babies. She's a healthy BMI, but she has a benign tumor on her pituitary gland so she doesn't produce sex hormones naturally (like she's never had a natural period). She had to have extensive fertility treatments just to get pregnant in the first place, and even her doctor isn't sure if she will be able to produce milk.
These nurses and lactation consultants are putting so much stress on women to breastfeed, it's ridiculous. Being a new mom is hard enough already without all that other shit on top of it.
[–] elegant_air 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
It's such a silly concept - obviously mothers should breastfeed if they can, but what do these people think pumps and formula were even created for?!
Fed healthy baby is better than starving "properly breastfed" one
[–] FPHMistress 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I'm so sorry that happened to you ferret. I'm 20 weeks along with my second. I'm not sure what I want to do.
I exclusively breastfed/pumped for my son until he was around a year and a half. He refused all formula I tried to supplement with (so much wasted money). I too needed to be on medication for my mental health. I knew I suffered from postpartum depression, but I later found out I also suffered from postpartum psychosis.
I was not only suicidal but homicidal towards my son. Add being severely sleep deprived for over a year(his father abandoned us when he was 4 months old) and I thought I was failing as a mother.
You are a wonderful shitmom and your future shitlad is so lucky to have you there.
[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That sounds so awful, I'm sorry you had that experience 😞 I hope everything is going well with your current pregnancy.
I learned that some hospitals have breast milk banks (I guess that's what you'd call them) where you can get donated breast milk for your baby, which might be an option for you. And some formula companies will send you free samples if you contact them, which might help save you money instead of having to buy all these different brands just to see which one your baby might like. My little guy is getting the Kirkland formula from Costco because it's the cheapest we could find. When we had to make the switch, cost was one of the things that was making me the most anxious (I thought, "why pay for formula when I can make breast milk for free?") but my doctor told me all the formula brands were essentially the same nutritionally, so to just get the cheapest.
It's not easy pumping and feeding, and I have tremendous respect for you for doing it as long as you did. I hope everything continues to go well with your pregnancy, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for whatever choices you make. A fed baby is best, and so is a healthy mom 😊