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[–] 8181597? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

This is one of the things that drives me up the wall crazy. I live in one of the (if not the) fattest places in the USA, the Deep South. These things have zero awareness and this happens to me a minimum once a week. Minimum. So, I've developed some coping strategies. I hope maybe at least one of these can help you out when you find yourself in this position again.

If it is a checkout line like they have in a grocery store or WalMart ...what I do is slowly inch forward while glancing backwards over my shoulder (and of course that never works because they are never paying any attention) but I keep inching forward in an exaggerated bid to get some space for myself.

Like I said that doesn't work but that isn't the goal. The goal is to line myself up into position which is just until my shoulder is lined up slightly in front of the debit/credit card transaction (ummm swiper thing). Basically the other person now directly behind me is actually lined up to better access the keypad to make a payment and it is out of my reach mainly because...

I have now actually moved down to the side or front of my cart and I am at the bags putting items into my cart or leaning over my buggy to fish my wallet out of my purse. The point is that while I have been making myself helpful by speeding along the checkout process the payment keypad is slightly behind me but not by much (a reasonable space for me to take a step back to the payment area and pay). Meanwhile fat ass has inched their buggy so far forward that they are better lined up/almost at the payment keypad.

When I go to pay I then turn to face front. At this point I turn my head to look directly at the person while throwing my hand up over the card as if I am trying to protect personal information and say very loudly, "Ummm... excuse me, do you mind maybe giving me a little room here? I need to pay for my items and I can't even access the slot to slide my card through. I need to enter my PIN number too, do you mind!?! You can't be too careful with all of the identity theft these days."

Sometimes the "person" will be actually standing at the payment area itself, sometimes it's their cart that's been pushed in the way. If it's the cart you can actually pretend to be helpful by pushing it backwards on them (and hopefully hitting them in the gunt).

This one really works well. If it isn't a total death fat but some small fat you will usually get a blubbering apology very quickly. Death fat will give you a glare until you are forced to say "I said, would you mind moving back? I cannot pay for my items as you have it blocked. I'm not trying to be a thief here. I just want to make a payment. Please MOVE.".

The other thing that I have tried when I am paying in cash or just feeling particularly impatient is if you aren't quite up to the payment area yet but already have some fat ass trying to become one with your backside just reach over and make out like you need to grab a pack or gum, or something else at the register. Usually they will back up but you have to stay fidgety or they will start sneaking back up on you. Hey, not your fault you keep changing your mind about what gum, mints, etc.. you want. Bonus points if it's a candy bar and you then loudly proclaim that it's just too many calories. Whine about how fat you will become if you eat too many. (I don't know if you are male or female but since I am female and therefore able to whine in public without anyone batting an eyelash I do it if it will get someone to back the hell up and quit talking so fucking loudly.)

As another user suggested slinging any type of bag over your shoulder or digging out your wallet/keys from a backpack, etc.. works wonderfully (throw the elbows backwards while digging).

You can also turn around sharply, jump and acted surprised that someone is rightthere up on you and say, "Oh, I knew I felt something on my hair. Must have been you breathing on me." Can you please not do that!?!" I have long hair and I am short so this works really well for me as does stretching back to pull my hair up in a clip and then bitching about not having a hair clip on me really loudly and turning around exaggeratedly to "reach" the bag on my back (like I can't reach it, yeah). Be sure to swing those pointy elbows.

I have had very few occasions to be an absolutely tee total bitch about this. (Trust me, they deserved it). I will start stretching it out and "accidentally" whack the fat bitch (pretending not to notice that I just smacked the shit out of something blubbery) while stretching and bitching quite loudly about how bad my back hurts.

Or, if they are directly behind you just place one of your feet behind you and just lean back on it a little. (Bonus points if you step on them.) And then say, "Oh excuse me, I'm sorry. I just didn't realize you were right up on me like that."

I hate that shit. Seriously, hate it but I am really non-confrontational and will use the above tactics first. If they fail though I will turn around and just say, "hi, personal space, would you mind maybe giving me a little bit of room here? I am claustrophobic". No, I'm not really, but who cares? Exaggerate it. If they can have "condishuns" when it's convenient for them and get to just make shit up as they go along then why the hell can't I?

If you are out with another person and really want to trigger the hell out of them start bitching about how you know you don't take up THAT much space but goodness, really????

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[–] Bigtop [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Soft spoken female. Your response was great! Maybe I could throw candy bars a few feet away and see if they 'chase' after it.

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[–] 8183933? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Lol. They might but don't throw them too far. They can't exert all their energies and risk dropping the sugahs too much.

I think my strategies work a lot better being female because they lend themselves to you being able to play the airhead or a whiny "skinny bitch". I am not really soft spoken but I am terribly avoidant of confrontation so I just resorted to what any Southern woman is taught from birth, passive aggressiveness (better known as how to be a bitch right back while coming across as an innocent angel).

Mind you.. I actually prefer just being blunt but you know sometimes it's a very useful tool.

Edited to say that yes, I have done each and ever one of these things to butterhuffers pressing up on me in lines and except for the very rare occasion they do work. Especially the first one.

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[–] ScootyPoofTipper 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

They're used to encroaching on a human's space and the human being too timid to call them out on it.

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[–] Cowtownrunner 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

No spatial awareness due to their massive size.

I've got one behind me right now. I hope it sees what sight I'm on...

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[–] probablyadragon 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Do you have a purse? Don't you have to check something in it and then swing it back over your shoulder? It wouldn't hit anything that shouldn't be that close to you in the first place.

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[–] theironneverlies ago 

looks like it is time for me to get a purse. Or just carry my 30 pound laptop\tool bag always.

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[–] Bigtop [S] ago 

Good idea. Next time I will be prepared!

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[–] ButterBeater9000 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'm a pretty confrontational person, so I like "You trying to check my pockets or smell my hair? You mind giving me a little room here?" in my angry Philly/Delco accent that hits a lot harder down here in the south.

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[–] FatShamingShitLady 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I just look them in the eye and loudly say "Could please step back you're in my personal space and you're giving me anxiety."

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[–] fattiesgonnaeat 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I was standing in line at the buffet at a casino once and there was a decent wait time, probably 45 minutes to an hour. My husband and I and friends were laughing and having a good time. Behind me I hear heavy breathing and then I feel it: I was literally dry humped by a fat fuck that couldn't wait for his fucking food. It was the most horrifying experience of my life, it happened a few years ago, but I still remember it with frightening clarity..

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[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Their feet are positioned at a normal distance from you, the problem is their guts stick out so far ahead that they cross the personal-space line.

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[–] Bigtop [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I didn't notice the feet. Just the enormous belly and chins. And piggy eyes.

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