I love running on a track more than anything. I'm at the gym 5 - 6 days a week on the indoor track. It's about three yards across, with three painted on lanes that span about a yard each. So, even if it's absolutely packed, there's always room to pass someone who's moving slower than you are.
Except for last night. I had been jogging for a while when two fatties, probably mid 20s or so, come onto the track. They're dressed in the brightly colored, trendy, Forever 21 type workout gear (like those shirts with the dumb workout slogans). They both have on full faces of heavily contoured makeup, hair done up all fancy, etc. Definitely did not look like they were here for a workout.
That, and they were both holding some Starbucks whipped cream-chocolate-coffee-syrup-vanilla-frappe-sugar beetus drink.
They wobbled down the track, laughing obnoxiously loudly and gossiping. They were walking so incredibly slowly, so I caught up to them in about one lap. Both had spread out across the track. There was no place to get around them. "Excuse me," I called. They didn't respond, just kept talking and sipping on their liquid beetus. I had to stop running, which I was mildly miffed about because I was trying to time my mile. "EXCUSE ME!" I repeated, louder. No response. I cleared my throat. One turned around.
This is a good visual of what her sweaty, makeup-caked face looked like after one lap of strolling. She made eye contact, then turned back around and kept talking (not walking, talking). I was really pissed then. I shoved between them, a small amount of pig sweat rubbing off onto my body as I did so.
"WOAH!" One yelled. "RUDE! Girl, you need some manners." I'm not sure what the poor imitation of a black woman was for, considering they were very white.
"Yeah," I said, not really listening. I started running again.
"HEY!" The second pig squealed. "Come back here!" I kept running. They did not try to increase their speed. It was then I realized that I would have to keep passing them, considering they were barely moving.
It became a game for me: How fast can I run between the pigs? I managed to sprint through them just as one was taking a sip and it nearly choked on its frappuccino mess. The faster I ran, the harder I hit them when I squeezed through, and the more they jiggled. That was probably the best run I've ever had.
Here's the baffling part - they could have easily moved closer together or given me space. It takes an extreme effort to block the entire track. About 15 minutes after they arrived, they gave each other a high-five, congratulating each other for "such a good effort" and "what a workout".
I'm fine with hams at the gym - the footprint of the gym equipment is the same, whether it be a 90-pound girl or a 400-pound man on it. But at the track, especially if you make my life harder, you're better off staying at home.
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[–] SaintThorlak 0 points 29 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago
A 15 minute walk while having a Frappuccino, CICO, they ended their walk fatter than when they started.
[–] mayosnorter 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
I'm confused. If they already had their starbeetus during their "workout", how are they going to celebrate afterwards??
[–] fatefish [S] 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
With McDonalds, they earned it!
[–] Cerryo 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Olive Garden
[–] Grenadus 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Starbeetus before, during and after workouts, duh.
Those things are celebrating throughout their entire short, meaningless lives.
[–] EwFat 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
A fat at my gym drinks a huge Gatorade and makes a spectacle of himself. He's recently started wearing knee braces because he does things with such shit form. I almost went over and told him to stop doing some stupid shit which was dangerous....almost. I'm just waiting for him to get really injured, give up, and stop bothering me.
[–] YamaMaya 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
That blown out knee is going to be some kind of spectacle. Then it will blame it's fatness on "muh bad knee"
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
This doesn't make any sense. I can easily understand how they can be so dense as to block the whole track, but how do you not realise this after someone has run through you several times? It's stuff like this that makes me wonder if they are so inconsiderate on purpose. I would think they are deliberately going out of their way to annoy you if I didn't know they weren't that smart.
[–] fatefish [S] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
But after a while, I was annoying them, and they still didn't move. I have no idea what gets into their buttery brains.
[–] RedStilettoes 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
I street run to clear my mind, treadmill running isn't the same, I feel like a hamster on a wheel when I do that. But the fats I encounter are deaf, blind and dumb. They can hear me running up the road behind them, they turn to see me and yet they don't move to the side. I barge through them and keep going, they can yell and huff at me all they want- my music drowns them out well before I pass them.
[–] mk46gunner 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
I run streets as well. I've made comments in the past about traffic and fatties and the general shit one comes across while running in public. It's annoying, at the very least, and dangerous at the other end of the spectrum.
It never fails to amaze me how people can be so obnoxious toward others that they'll look over their shoulder if you're running in the same direction, coming up behind them, and yell out "runner passing right" or something to similar effect, and they, after looking and seeing you, still refuse to move over and allow room to pass on the sidewalk. It's one of the main reasons I rarely use sidewalks anymore and just stick to the shoulder of the road. Because even running toward them while they walk in your direction, they just don't. fucking. move. Which means you're off the sidewalk again, anyway. I've had fatties yell shit at me, some rude shit, some shit about my body/ass/whatever, but I just keep going. They're not worth the hassle.
Although, I will admit, there is some allure to just running right into their group and seeing if I can't knock any over, for personal satisfaction and comedic effect, at least.
[–] trashpandaparty 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Some days I don't want to run for whatever reason. And then I remember the looks of hate fat people give me when I pass them. And that gets me out the door to be fitshamed another day.
[–] RedStilettoes ago
definitely my thoughts as well, I would rather knock them over than run into a car. In the mornings they are rarely on the street, except when they want to waddle from their car to the nearest dunkin' or starbucks, and in that moment I make it my personal mission to topple their beetus drinks.
[–] YouAreNotPetite 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
Same for the bike trails around my town. There are parts where it's wide enough to accommodate 8 humans to walk side by side yet the fat fucks still manage to block it off completely with as few as 2 (it's all in the arms sticking out, swinging about as they waddle).
"On your left" is the polite, quick way to let people know you're about to pass them, humans typically have a quick "Shit, which side's left again?" moment, laugh, then greet you as you pass by. Cows? They'll just completely ignore you. It's gotten to the point where I'll have to ride a couple of feet directly behind them yelling "ON YOUR LEFT" louder and louder until they snap out of their food fantasies, then call me an asshole as they give me the minimum amount of space to squeeze by.
[–] Queefturret 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I do the same! But i also take a very large dog with me. Most people get out of her way
[–] hamans_revenge 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
good doggo
[–] runningnooblet 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
The part I don't understand is why they wear such heavy makeup (or makeup at all) to the track. Like, why?? It will have gone wrong if you want to take post-"workout" selfies (the only thing that's getting out is sweat and makeup), so you can't do that. Doing a before selfie has no real meaning...
What???
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] fatefish [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Thank you!
I couldn't imagine drinking anything other than water while working out. Even something like Gatorade is awful when I'm thirsty, sweating and need a quick swig.
[–] Lurkerontheroof 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
THANK YOU for not folding to these fucking shitbag cows. Shit like this makes me want to murder -- my local high school track was clogged up until last year/around Xmas with fucking fat heifers doing the same shit, even knocked between a couple of grease bags myself and heard a bit of reeeing through my earphones -- but finally school security started enforcing the before/after-school-hours no-walking rules and also the no walking with strollers unless you're jogging with one and only on the two outside lanes. I love running and hit the track regularly to check on my time, too. This shit like I said is intolerable, period.
[–] Deathstalker 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I just had the same experience. Two hams walking side by side on a 2 lane track clearly labeled walk and run. First round I gave a normal "excuse me" second round I gave a loud EXCUSE ME. Ham replies "You alright"(There hams were actual black). Oh gee thanks for my permission for me to exist while you are rudely blocking the track. Unfortunately I left my white male guilt in my locker so I went ahead and ham slammed its arm flab each time I passed. It didn't phase them too much because they still stopped in the walk lane to take a selfy to show off their athleticism after their 5 minute stroll.
This wasn't my first Track encounter either. Here is my first. Image is down but just picture 2 potatoes on stilts.
[–] lemmonjello 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
There was a ham on the indoor track today at my gym that would brisk walk 1 lap....then half-dance some routine in the corner, sit on her phone for 10 mins. Then repeat. At least she wasnt taking up space on a machine and not using it, but she was fully proud of her body wearing a way to small "stylish" sports bra with back detailing that clearly shows it offers no support and some see through leggings....and she smelled. Fuck off.
[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That's Just... way too much. I think I just threw up in my mouth. Please tell me it had something on over that, please... please?
[–] lemmonjello ago
Of course not. She was clearly "proud" of her lard lumps.