Good evening, dear shitfriends. I'm fresh off the clock from my shitty job of servicing even shittier customers. Mostly what I do is sell vanity sized tents to whales within a grocery store chain that also has a Starbeetus. Fat people clothes, in the middle of a sea of food, with instant gratification coffee milkshakes on the side. Sounds like a magnet for entitled fat fucks, doesn't it? Well... You'd be correct.
After the eight precious hours of my life I had exchanged for pennies was at it's end, I go to walk out of the store. As I head out the door, there in front of me stands a mated pair of hogs. The male was huge, without a doubt, but was definitely put to shame by his female sow that at my height, and more than triple my weight, I would guesstimate at at least treefiddy. And that's me being more conservative than I am with a chocolate bar. I had only just spotted them when the REEEEEEing began.
The female starts positively screeching about how she has a little piglet buried somewhere beneath the fatty overhang of her Fupa, how she really could have been hurt, how completely incompetent, etc. etc. "You knocked into my arm! What if that had been my tummy?! I'm five months pregnant, what is the matter with you?! I swear they only hire complete retards at this location!" Hand to God, the infantile swine said "tummy".
I look to see who the poor wretched bastard was that had offended this lowly, yet ample, lifeform. And here's where the anger for me truly starts. It was one of our bagboys, a complete sweetheart, still just a child, would never intentionally hurt a fly, and legitimately MENTALLY RETARDED. He's stuttering out apology after apology. God damn it, my heart ached for him. All while she continues berating him.
Finally, the cheese hog starts to walk away, while still REEING loudly, as pigs are wont to do. After the boy leaves dejectedly(very obviously on his way to cry somewhere privately), I approached her. My penchant for customer service, fortunately for the both of us, overtook my anger.
"Ma'am, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I know you couldn't have
known this, but he actually really is not all there mentally."
I would like to think that a decent human being, upon hearing this, would be filled with embarrassment and regret at their words and actions. So right here, we just have to remind ourselves that like most of it's kind, the creature I was speaking with was neither decent, nor human.
She replied to that with "maybe you shouldn't be hiring fucking retards then." And once again sings her song of being five months pregnant.
I apologize again with a cold smile, slyly slip in a comment about how he probably couldn't tell she was carrying just by looking at her, and tell her to have a good night. Not realizing she had just been insulted, she waddles away still loudly bitching about getting bumped into... While I quietly sang a rendition of 'Fatty, Fatty, Two by Four' under my breath as I began my walk home.
Moral of the story is- It is far better to be legitimately legally mentally disabled then to ever become an obese person.
FIN
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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
...Joe Fresh?
A grocery store starting its own clothing brand is as weird to me as WalMart selling produce (especially since the produce is such shit quality)
[–] Runway22L 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Omg I'm glad I'm not crazy! I was at the new Balmart super center getting peanut butter bones for my pooch and they had a huge produce section and I was thrilled! An almost entire store size section of fruits and vegetables! Until I started looking at the quality and it seemed like they bought everything that would've been thrown out because it was too old for the super market. I don't know why they'd have produce at Balmart anyway, not like land-whales even know what fruit and vegetables are.
[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I don't know how true this is, but my sister told me it's because when the produce comes in to the distributor, WalMart gets the last pick. The more expensive grocery stores get their pick of the litter, the medium-priced ones pick next, followed by the low-cost grocery stores. Then WalMart gets the leftovers.
[–] Dropkickbooties2 [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Naw. I don't want to specifically give away where it is, but what happened here was a grocery conglomerate is also the owner of a major chain of clothing stores in the Midwest. About a year or two ago, they saw an opening as Kmarts started shutting down, and decided to try to become competitive to Walmart, so they combined the two. We actually carry a ton of really good brands. You can find a lot of the same stuff at Kohls.
[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That's interesting. A few years ago Loblaw's and all its regional chains (Fortinos, Zehrs, Canadian Superstore, etc.) started carrying their own brand of clothing called "Joe Fresh". They started by opening 3 stand-alone stores (I think all of them were in the Greater Toronto Area) to test the waters, and apparently it was so successful that they started putting the clothing in the regular grocery stores. I don't go to any of those stores on a regular basis (they're pretty expensive) but it's weird seeing a clothing section in a grocery store. The clothing doesn't look like the greatest quality either... I was looking at some yoga pants one time, and they were completely see-through. Maybe they've improved the quality since then, I dunno.