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[–] Shitelord772 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Congrats on failing but "calling it a win!" /s

This is simply living in denial.

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[–] hulkingmanbeast [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

So the failed goals for 2016 are:

  • 1 pullup

  • 10min mile

  • 1min plank

  • 5:30 marathon

For someone who calls themselves a runner there's precious little running. I found its blog for more details on the Tough Mudders.

Basically it bypassed most obstacles but did manage to climb a 6-foot wall with a built-in peg ladder. It also stepped on a lot of humans trying to climb other things. Here are a few of its other accomplishments from training:

  • 5s dead hang

  • 10s of mountain climbers (plank with alternating knee raises)

  • Jogging up a few stairs, maybe even a whole flight

  • Deadlifting a "heavy weight" of what appears to be 55lbs (or 45lbs if it's a women's bar) based on a photo. It can probably lift more but there were no details.

Edit:run times here

It's slow as slow can be. There are tons of articles saying she "shatters stereotypes". And it works for Runner's World. For some reason this is really infuriating.

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[–] Pullmypork 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

As soon as it said it failed fucking everything and then couldn't even plank for a minute I about lost it. Especially since it claims it won. The whole fucking well there's next year really irked me. No.. you don't fucking put things off until new years. You keep at them all year round. You make a fucking resolution any time you want. Christ. I hate fat fucks!

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[–] hulkingmanbeast [S] ago  (edited ago)

To be fair it kept at it all year and this is how far it got.

You might also be interested in its run times, which for some reason ranged between 12min and 24min pet mile. Probably depended on the state of its imploding knees.

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[–] NonIssue 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

5s? ....5s?? That's actually a time worth mentioning?? This is surreal.

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[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Man, how do you set such pathetic goals and not even meet them?

Oh, the latest race it was in was "Atlanta Fat Ass 50K". Everything makes sense now.

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 1 point 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

I feel like half of that list could be achieved by a completely untrained person on day 1 or at least within a couple of weeks. As a matter of fact, I just tried right now. I haven't done pull-ups or planks in a long time, but I managed both easily. I also walk 10km/day with backpack, jeans, and headphones at a leisurely pace of 16m/mi, so if I only had to do 1, I'm pretty sure I could jog it within 10 minutes. How can you not do a 1 minute plank, 10 minute mile, or single pull-up in a year? It's like your resolution was to fail harder.

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[–] hulkingmanbeast [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

A deconditioned office jockey could do everything on that list with minimal training. Maybe a month or two.

It's boggling that this thing brags about failing all of them, then calling it a win.

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[–] love_rape 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I was lifting weights for over a year before I even considered doing a pull-up. I had to do assisted ones for about two months before I could do a single genuine pullup.

But going from being able to do one to doing ten in a row took only 10 days, or so.

These days I alternate weights with body-weight (lsits, pullups, dips), as well as climbing for core-strength. But I'd guess an average person can't do a pullup without at least some practice. Not a year, but some.

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[–] praivo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

But I'd guess an average person can't do a pullup without at least some practice. Not a year, but some.

Pull-ups are mostly about your power-to-weight ratio, i.e. you don't need to be strong if you're light. I remember doing them in a PE class about 2 years ago. I wasn't prepared at all and neither were most of my classmates, yet everyone, even the fattest guy there, did at least one.

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[–] ilieksnow ago  (edited ago)

I can't do a single pull-up with my tiny t-rex arms! It was my plan to be able to do one by summer, but I just smashed my shoulder in the pavement so.. we'll see.

I can walk at 16min/mile pretty much all day though.

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[–] 7862061? 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Oh, not this pseudo runner again...

I fucking despise her. She claims to run, but hardly ever cracks a 13 min/mile. Her race pace is 13 min/mile... And, she's been running for years, and is getting progressively worse, per her age grading. Older people slow down, naturally (So, we use age grading), she's slowing even more rapidly, likely due to the damage she's already incurred, and continues incurring.

I cannot abide that failures like this person are featured in running magazines anymore. It cheapens the work put in by athletes, and amateur athletes who are always fighting to improve.

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[–] Pullmypork 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Are you fucking kidding me right now. The fucking hog gave up everything and decided "next year" What the fuck? Like is this real life right now.... So disgusting, I don't even know how to react right now.

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[–] hulkingmanbeast [S] ago 

You'd think miserably failing 4/5 reasonable goals would not be a cause for celebration. Look at those goddamn goals. They are things untrained people can do.

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[–] ShitlordChaser 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

She needs "speed work" to run a ten minute mile? Holy shit. I "ran" ten minute miles back in elementary school, when I wanted to chat with friends on the track instead of run like the PE teacher told us to.

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[–] Delorean1988 ago 

I walked a 12 minute mile in grade school. I'm short and stout (read not built for running) and with a bit of practice, my fastest mile is about 6:30.

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[–] LoveThighGap 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

1 pullup is a goal, LUL

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[–] ilieksnow ago 

It is for me! :(

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[–] LoveThighGap ago 

I imagine it may be more difficult for women, my fiancee could not do more than 2 without training.

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[–] Shitlord2016 ago 

When are they going to learn that signing up for something isn't an accomplishment? Like just because you walked part of the NYC marathon doesn't make you a marathon runner.... I mean it can't even run a 10 minute mile and it apparently runs all the time... how hard is it to run a 10 minute mile.... it didn't accomplish anything in 2016