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[–] crimsonpowder 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

Worked with this one monstrosity that ate her cereal every morning with half-and-half instead of milk.

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[–] Shitting_Shitlord 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

That's just plain disgusting.

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[–] wolflink009 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm guilty of drinking those little half an half cups you put in coffee, but an entire bowl? That is just silly.

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[–] edthomson92 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

what's the difference between half-and-half and milk, as far as this goes?

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[–] crimsonpowder 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

As the name implies, it's half whole milk and half light cream. More than 300 calories per cup. The battleship I worked with would have a container every day, so almost 1300 calories before the clock even struck 9 AM.

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[–] rakki 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

I used to work in this place that had the stupid idea that people would work better together if we didn't have our own desks, and so I worked all day with three hams around a conference table. One of the hams wasn't that bad (apart from just being a ham and talking about cupcakes all the time), but the other two, holy fucking shit.

One woman, who loved wearing crop tops and jeans several sizes too small, was obsessed with the idea that sitting makes you unhealthy (as opposed to, say, eating shit all day), so they made her a special standing desk. I sat directly across from her, so ALL FUCKING DAY my view was of her bloated, bare midriff. She also had this fantasy in which she was a cute vampire, so she'd go around grabbing coworkers and biting them. Twice she hit me so hard from behind, I spilled my drink and ruined my keyboard. It came to a head when I went to the zoo on a weekend with a couple of other coworkers: she found out about it on Monday and went crying to HR because we didn't invite her and this was apparently bullying. HR had a long talk with me and finally asked point-blank, "Do you not like Hammy?" NO I DON'T LIKE HER SHE BIT ME AND YOU DON'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT.

Then there was a dude, a total fucking gross planet. Almost a foot taller than me, and easily at least three times my weight. Sitting next to this beast was a nightmare. On top of his physical presence, he had zero work ethic. We worked on the same shit and his productivity was MAYBE 20% of mine, which meant shit never got completed, which meant management was always asking why "we" were slacking. Finally he ended up throwing a heavy binder at me: he was lounging around, complaining that he didn't have enough work to do, and I got snippy at him and showed him the PAGES AND PAGES OF SHIT WE STILL HAD TO ADDRESS, and BAM binder comes flying. HR asked me what I did to drive him to such violence, because OBVIOUSLY he is the perfect example of discipline and self-restraint otherwise.

I no longer work there.

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[–] PrivateJoker [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Jesus christ what the fuck lol

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[–] rakki 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

"Jesus christ wtf lol" was pretty much my mantra every second I worked there.

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[–] XXXXXLhater 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Dafuq? 😕 Why in the world did HR even bother to have a talk with you over hammy's ridiculous claim that she was being bullied for not being invited to something y'all did OUTSIDE of work?! Since when did not inviting someone become considered bullying?! HR should have just laughed in her face and told her how stupid she is!

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[–] rakki 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

That was my exact argument. "It was on a weekend..." HR said that the happiness of all workers was her concern, and the fact that she had Fatty in her office in tears because she didn't get to go to the zoo was proof that it was her problem. Any normal person would have told Fatty to grow up and GTFO.

HR was the mother of the CEO. Massive clusterfuck of absurd incompetence.

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Your health will thank you. If not for transferring to a non-sedentary lifestyle, then at least your blood pressure has surely dropped.

DEATH to hams

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[–] Entitilitus 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Everything about that job sounds like an absolute nightmare.

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[–] Oveneise 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I saw this morbidly obese (and I mean HUGE) lady walk through the store and buy two carts full of nothing but mountain dew.

EDIT: Major edit! Thought of something way worse!

Actually, there was a case where we had a clerk that probably weighed 500+ pounds. She was fucking HUGE, and she was always really cranky. Our breakroom was located upstairs, and she couldn't walk up there, so it was nice not having to see her on break. Anyway, she worked at the store for like two years, and then she disappeared. I figured she quit at the time. Nope, she fucking died. Legend says that after she quit on medical leave, she confined herself to the bed, where she consumed massive amounts of snacks and pop unbeknownst to her husband, which were sneaked into her room by their kid. When she died, the kid was completely unfazed and didn't even cry. Of course the whole family is obese. Anyway, that just sprung into my mind.

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[–] PrivateJoker [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Oh shit, this reminded me of a few months ago. HUGE lady in the grocery store in one of those fat mobiles. She she was "pushing" a cart full of nothing but soda and sherbert lolololol.

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[–] Oveneise 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

I remember one time (for reference, I work in a grocery store), this older WW2 vet walking with a cane came up to me and asked where the disability scooters were. We had two. Guess who was using them? Two fat fucks. I felt so bad telling them they were in use.

I ended up asking the boss if it was possible to ask the fat fucks to give up their scooters for someone who actually needed it, he said it wasn't worth the risk. What they have done is they'll complain to corporate for being discriminated against, and that can put people's jobs at risk.

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Healthy smoothie ingredients.

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[–] Limacon 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I'm not surprised the kid wasn't fazed by her dying. After all, you have to hate a person to keep feeding them when they are too fat to go to the kitchen on their own. I'd have straight up told her I don't give a shit how miserable she is, there is no way she will starve to death and at the same time be too fat to walk.

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[–] PhitPhil 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I work in the cardiovascular operating rooms and the cardiac cath lab at a hospital. I can't even begin to think of all the people who come in. I believe the worst offender was this woman about a year ago. She came in for a heart cath. She was easily 500, so we actually had to use a specific lab with a table that could hold someone that big. The table is about 3 feet (1 meter) off the ground. This thing was put on the table, but she had so much stomach that it hung over off the side of the table, getting more than half way to the floor. I have never ever seen shit like that before, but I know that it won't be the fucking last.

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[–] PrivateJoker [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

My god lol

This irritates me because they take their health for granted and now modern medicine can save their lives so they can eat pints of ice cream for another few years.

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[–] PhitPhil 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I know what you mean brother. Not on topic of fat, but smokers too really take for granted how far modern medicine has come. If you smoke like a pack a day and then have a heart attack, you kind of need to stop. Most of them don't though. They are content with coming back in again in 8 months

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[–] MrRADical 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Half a meter of over-hang! Start keeping a record of that, see if there's any contenders as the population is only getting fatter. "Back in my day the biggest over-hang was 0.5 meters!"

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

"HEY, THIS IS CATH LAB #2, WE NEED A REOPRO BOLUS STAT - AW, NEVERMIND - WHAT'S THE POINT??"

HEHE.png

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[–] NassTee 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I once worked with a woman so fat she had to turn sideways to go through doors. She also always used the elevator to go even one floor, but you probably guessed that. I never witnessed her feeding habits, and I'm glad I didn't.

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[–] PrivateJoker [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

lol, my old workplace was only 2 floors but had an elevator. It required walking an extra 50+ yards past the stairs but 100% of the obese decided to walk the extra steps

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[–] Sydviciouz 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

My coworker does this CONSTANTLY. I don't get it. She fucking lost it when the elevator was getting worked on and was out of order.

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[–] urbandirt 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I worked with a woman who must have been 375 - 400 lbs. She was a clerk and had a habit of eating fast food at the front desk on her lunch breaks. How the hell she got away with that, I'll never know. There was an eating area not 20 feet away. I guess waddling over would have been too much effort.

Not my workplace, but his -- I had a Catholic schoolteacher who was an enormous blob of shit, probably pushing 450 lbs. A girl getting pregnant at the same school caused a huge scandal, but the fact that a teacher was the living embodiment of gluttony apparently wasn't a problem at all.

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[–] feedmemorescrubs 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Fat Christians/Catholics piss me off to no end. Particularly if they're homophobic. Like Jesus Christ do you even read your holy book?!

[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] PrivateJoker [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I work from home now but we used to have people exactly like this in the office. We used to get free breakfast tacos once a month. When they arrived in the morning there was a stampede and without fail, the fat fucks in the line took 2 or 3 before even knowing if there was enough there for others.

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I hope you did the right thing and beat her to death with the computer monitor.

If not, it shall forever remain a wasted opportunity.

Disgusting story, bro: 10/10.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

greedily eyeing the whole hams and cuts of bacon like the cannibal he was.

This made me laugh so hard for so long I now have a mild headache. BEAUTIFUL description. So grotesque. So descriptive. Much wow. Doge-approved.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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