So there's a fairly new Vietnamese fusion restaurant that I wanted to try and their banh mi sandwiches are legendary! Even better is that just like back in Vietnam, you can even add fried egg to your banh mi! This place also sells American style dishes too like fries!
So as I was eating my banh mi, I noticed a group of four pork planets wandering in before sitting at the table and I swear, their asses spill over the seats! I heard one of them ordered fries at least along with a few other dishes. A few minutes later, their food arrives and talk about how amazingly cheap the food prices are yet talk about how the dishes they ordered don't seem to fill them up easily. Come on! One dish of anything of this place is human sized! Just before finishing my banh mi, one of those pork planets, a female so fat it has a forehead FUPA (no it wasn't a Slaton sister but goddammit it looks like one) asked me to pass the ketchup. Too bad the place doesn't have ketchup so it uses Sriracha sauce instead. So I smiled and said "Sure!" before passing the bottle of Sriracha to the eatbeast. Here comes the fun part.
The eatbeast squeezed the shit out of that Sriracha bottle onto its fries until it technically covered the entire plate of fries. For those who don't know what Sriracha is, it's a popular spicy condiment sauce among the Vietnamese community and I love them. It has a very strong kick to it even in small amounts. So as the eatbeast devoured its fries, it gagged and complained about how spicy the sauce is and shouted for a waiter to bring it beer to cool down the spices along with Coke.
"I need more beer and Coke because this ketchup is too spicy!" It said as the waiter glances at the bottle and kept a straight face.
"That's not ketchup; that's Sriracha." he said before it took down the drink orders before fetching them for the fat fuck.
Luckily, I was finished with my sandwich and paid the bill before leaving nearly escaping the eatbeast's wrath.
Whew that was too close! It's probably raging how I tricked it into thinking it's ketchup despite the obvious labels on Sriracha bottles. But it was a good night for me!
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[–] ButtarGollum 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
Stupid fatty can't handle the flavour and spice of Sriracha. It's not even that hot really, the old Jamaican lady that runs a restaurant down the street from me makes a hot sauce that'll burn through steel I swear. But, anything that involves the suffering of fats amuses me, so I'm amused.
[–] CertifiedShitlord 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
In all fairness I can't handle anything even remotely hot. ):
[–] Mongychops 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
You can build up a tolerance to spicy food by just eating incrementally hotter food. What I can't build up a tolerance to is stir frying with chillies, adding in a load of chopped chillies into a hot pan is like getting tear-gassed, the gf mocks me relentlessly for turning into a coughing mess with eyes watering like I'm crying while she treats it like its nothing.
[–] MirrorMan 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I dislike sriracha because of the sweetness. The heat is almost a non-factor.
[–] KikiCat 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
I use sriracha as ketchup all the time :) it's not that hot
[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
It's not that hot for me either and I use it as ketchup sometimes too.
[–] Goat-fister 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Can confirm.
[–] talus_extraordinaire 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Sriracha has a very distinct and strong smell too, the lardbarge didn't even notice? Wow
[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
All that fat in the head clogs up their taste buds and smell you know.
[–] Angxrs 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Probably had burnt out tastebuds and smell receptors from too much eating.
[–] Creggieb 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Doesn't Sriracha come in a fairly identifyable bottle. One that is quite different from a ketchup shaped bottle. And doesn't it say Sriracha on the side. And have a picture of a chicken.
But it's red and it's food.....
[–] SeethingHatred 1 point 6 points 7 points (+7|-1) ago
A rooster, which istats why it's colloquially referred to as "cock sauce"
[–] SimonJ57 ago
Do you REALLY trust a Hamplanet to have tastes in food that isn't either Trans-fats, Sugar or Carbs based?
[–] SupremeStomachRolls 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I needed to read something to cheer me up after hearing about what happened to that poor soul in Chicago. Thank you for this story.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] l23r ago
That implies her stomach isn't already fucked up
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
It did and it was sweating a lot from its face too! XD
[–] SeethingHatred 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Yeah but it would probably have done that anyway.
[–] Kintobor22 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Wtf. Stupid fat fuck. Can't it use its snout to smell the spicy, slightly sour and sweet smell of the sriracha?!
[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Fats prefer instant gratification what do you expect?
[–] Kintobor22 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
This.