So I got to be a part of a little shitlording during my travels this winter break, so I just wanted to share this little bit with you guys!
So, my dad and I got checked in through security in the airport a few days ago and we decided to hit the airport Starbucks to get a quick breakfast before our flight. We proceeded to get in line behind this behemoth of what used to be a 5'10'' human woman. Flabby patty is asked what she would like to order and it replies "I would like one sausage egg and cheese sandwich, one bacon and cheese biscuit with extra bacon, and one double chocolate chip frappuccino, I need the caffeine tee-hee!!"
After the hippo gasps out the rest of its order, the starbucks girl asked for it's name and the hambeast replies in a gasp, "My name is Claire!"
As soon as it waddled away my dad leans over to me and whispers "I bet that her name is short for Éclair."
As soon as I start bursting out laughing, my grandpa comes walking over, looks at the wildebeest, points at it, and whispers into my other ear, "Holy shit, I think the Missouri varsity Bear Wrestling team must have a tournament here!"
I don't think I've laughed so hard so early in the morning before. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed my great start to winter break as much as I did!
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[–] voteforfreedom 0 points 18 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago (edited ago)
I can relate....but I got a reply from a land manatee family ...
was on <shore leave> with a buddy from the field in Brazil. We get on a bus and these five fucking gigantic women get on the bus....fat fucking bitches....yep Brazilians are getting mexican fat...but these bitches WERE SUPER FAT....in tight clothing....5 manatees coming onto the bus at the same time...a micro bus....every micro bus in brazil needs to have a double seat for 1 rhino....here come 5....so I utter: is there a fatcon convention going on....the lead fat cunt replies in perfect English: That is not very nice....I am stunned but reply...are you heffers American....
OMG...the daughter answers .... ya you poor south american cunt, we are american....(as an american, this pisses me off...respect the country you visit as you represent america)....so I start fucking blasting the pig family on the micro bus....
Their ultimate defense = open up toblerone choco bars and start loving their fat priv....I kept oinking like a pig to the delight of the locals. not happy to see 5 manatees take up 3/4 of a mini bus in Brazil
[–] SeethingHatred 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
One good thing about getting old You give even less of a fuck about offending people than you do now.
...and given how little I care currently... this is going to be fun :-)
[–] voteforfreedom 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
For sure, you become the chef that makes the Sheppard's pie....
you end up finally discovering the spices that go in the ground meat layer...you see the next generation still trying to figure out what the fuck the cream corn layer IS....and realize that you will die with the latest generation still lost in the mash fluff at the top
Forget about the fact that they get excited when they find out paprika powder goes on the over baked fluff...they seem oblivious to the pinch of nutmeg and ground pepper in the meat at the bottom...and they won't pay attention when you try to tell em about it
[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
upgoating because im drunking
[–] SaveTheChildren 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
upvoating because im highing.
[–] gauss_markov 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Upgoat because I'm gonna bothing
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Got to fuel well for all that sitting still in a plane.
[–] tanukihat 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
A shitlad from an ancient heritage of shitlords, well done.
[–] omar_coming_yo_ 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I feel your pain.
Today I went to a Starbucks to get a coffee before the gym.(only place open - public holiday - busy as shit)
The fucking state of the people in there. Disgusting, fat, greasy, pigs. As wide as they are tall..... everyone of these bags-of-shit were ordering some triple-chocolate and creme fucking monstrosity.
And they took fucking ages to make these diabetic delights,
Had to wait like 15 minutes for a fucking black coffee.
Cunts.
On the plus side I got to stand their in my gym gear and snear at them...
[–] ReconquerCurvy 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Double chocolate chip fraps don't even have caffeine in them. But that's why it's fat in the first place - they know nothing about what they force into their nasty maws.
[–] Plavonica 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Based grandparents are the best.
[–] culofiesta ago
Claire is, has always been and will always be a fat name.
[–] wtf_hell ago
YOU TAKE THAT BACK