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[–] squirrelette 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Goddamn, look at those humans trying to lift it into the van while it writhes about on the ground like a snake that swallowed an elephant, waving its sausages at the crowd as though they are looking with any emotion other than horror. How did they even find a van strong enough to carry that much of lard? Even if they cleave the planet in two it will still weigh almost six hundred pounds!