Posted by: turtlesarepureevil
Posting time: 4 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/18/2017 12:00:00 AM
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32 upvotes, 2 downvotes (94% upvoted it)
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[–] Angxrs 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
With skin?!
[–] Ezekiel_Balderdash 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
It doesn't run away, it gets eaten.
[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
That reminds me of a co-porker who went on a "vegan" diet.
He told me how proud he was of himself for eating healthy, then proceeded to mow down 4 avocados with an entire tub of sour cream.
I was just too flabbergasted, and felt a little bit too much nausea coming on, to tell him that he basically ate his TDEE in that one meal. And I use the word meal loosely.
[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Can't even do vegan right, sour cream is not vegan, stupid fat.
[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Yep. Hence the quotes around vegan.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
My dad is like this. He can't make the connection that fruit is sugar because "But it's healthy?" These people know nothing about food. They are a lost cause.
[–] conchpearls1 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
My dad is like this too. He thinks fruit has as little calories as leafy vegetables like lettuce and scoffs whenever I watch my fruit intake due to counting their calories into my diet.
[–] GainsGoblinGoebbels 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
May as well eat Skittles instead at that point.
[–] Booplesnoot 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
"Shaved her pubic hair to be like a palm tree" whAT?
[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
The beast got the tree species mixed up. This is what it meant.
[–] SupremeStomachRolls ago
Perhaps fat plant would be most appropriate
[–] That_wont_do_pig 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
How can you even eat that much fucking pineapple without your tongue burning?
[–] SupremeStomachRolls ago
True. Pineapple digests you.
[–] Fat_kills 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Worked with a fat that ate ten bananas a day in addition to its normal food to be "healthy" this same fat also told me about having custom plumbing in its home to flush it's massive shits.
[–] Pattoe 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I eat 3-4 bananas per day, but never need more than a single flush.
Then again, I don't tend to exceed 2,000 calories per day.
[–] fphthrowie ago
Island communities like Tonga are fat because they eat imported crap rejected by New Zealand. Not because they crack coconuts.