I usually don't pay much attention to senior citizens, they're just there. They do their shopping, they chat, they brag about their grandkids. But today, my perception of old people changed. I finally noticed that you don't see any fat geezers (pure coincidence, I'm sure) and that these precious senior folk can be brutal, savage shitlords.
I've started taking the bus more often, since biking on icy roads is pure death, and I've had to start dealing with a lot of hams. It seems like every bus in this city carries at least 5 spare tyres... Anyways, I can usually avoid them by using my ability to stand up for more than 30 seconds at a time, but not all of us have that luxury. Namely, the seniors.
Meet Grandma Shitlord, well into her 70s, finished her grocery run and lined up at the bus, behind me and in front of your typical beetusbreather. I step onto the bus, Granny steps onto the bus, fatty waits. I'm looking at her, she's looking at the bus driver. He kneels the bus, and then she gets on. The look of disbelief is pretty hidden on my face, Granny doesn't try so hard, she shakes her head and sits down in one of the seats at the front (reserved for elderly and disabled). That section is full, there's 1 or 2 seats at the back of the bus. Fatty walks up and awkwardly stands beside Granny.
"You know you're supposed to let disabled people sit here."
Now, I disagree with my new best friend's approach to this, but it's her life, her choices. Granny gets herself up, but before stepping away from the seat, she rips in a sweet old-lady voice.
"You young ones have your fun, I'll walk to the back today because I know you'll be dead before I am leaning in and then I'll get my seat back."
She said this pointing at the bottles of Betus Dew in her bag, it was priceless. She shuffled to the open seat at the back through a sea of very stunned faces.
But Wait! There's karma! Turns out Fattass was getting off at my stop, and for the first time it seems. My stop has the most unexpected dip, it's at least an extra 6" from any other bus stop, and Whalerina had earned zero pity from the bus driver, so there was no kneeling to warn her. She was playing on her phone, probably tubbling about how she'd defeated the fat-hating old hag, and didn't see the drop. She stepped off, and ate fucking dirt. Right in front of Granny, who I could see laughing (I was already off the bus, but she definitely saw it). It was a truly glorious day.
Sort: Top
[–] hamsbegone 0 points 38 points 38 points (+38|-0) ago
The whale actually asked an elderly woman to give up her seat???
That's so fucking awful. Old lady was right beetus Betty will be dead first.
[–] Wizardslayer 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
Fats have no shame or manners.
[–] damnbiker ago
How did nobody tell that fatty to waddle her fat ass to the other empty seats?
[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
Fat "people" truly have no dignity or shame, WTF. I'd have to literally have bones poking out of my flesh from leg fractures before I'd make an elderly person give me their seat on the bus.
[–] ETres 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
THAT'S the kind of real-life story I love to read about on FPH! Outstanding!
[–] Goater 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
Different culturally I guess, but if a fat person asked an old person to get off one of the reserved seats it would be mayhem.
You'd have the bus driver yelling abuse at the fatty, younger men on the bus telling it "fuck off you fat cunt" and the rest of the bus in disbelief / videoing for later lulz.
[–] That_wont_do_pig 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
WORLDSTAR
[–] TheDude2 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
I've seen this lately. Lardasses getting on the bus and bitching about actual handicapped people in the handicap spaces. What the fuck is wrong with them?
[–] nottherealadmin [S] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
You mean apart from the fact that they can turn any bus into a kneeling bus?
[–] retailslave ago
Besides the mental disability of them letting their bodies go to ruin?
[–] ElectricPurple 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago (edited ago)
FUCK YEAH! YOU GO, GRANDMA!!!
I shall be a fit grandma. I shall play with my grand-shitlings. I will bike with them, run with them, not sit around yelling like my mom's abusive bitch of a mother did. She yelled at me for running in the yard like kids do. "Muh grass!" Like you fucking get up and take care of it, bitch. She's been dead for 7 years now. Meanwhile, my grandpa on my dad's side bikes, eats healthy, and he is 86. I would not be surprised if he makes it to 100.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
[–] ETres ago
Your story deserves its own thread - great work! And I hope you are recovering/have recovered.
[–] Storm333 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I don't understand how people say there are no fat old people because I encounter these beasts more and more often these days. Our healthcare system is keeping them alive longer than they should. I see obese sickly, diabetes-ridden 70 to 80-somethings at our hospital frequently now. They are usually way more entitled and stupid than the regular old people and drain so many resources toward the end of their lives.
[–] MamaCassHamSandwich 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Same. I live in a city that is generationally top heavy with old fucks. There are a lot of fat old bastards scooting around with their oxygen tanks and bags of candy and cookies. It's disgusting.