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[–] turtlesarepureevil 0 points 52 points (+52|-0) ago 

Tell it that you've been trying to gain 5 pounds for ten years and nothing seems to work. Then ask it for bulking advice. That should do it and have less chance of you getting fired.

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[–] skittlesforhair [S] 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

This might work. I'm currently bulking and it's hard as fuck to eat enough.

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[–] StupidShitlords 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Just eat a bunch of raw nuts. Like 1/4 cup is something like 200 calories.

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[–] Runway22L 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That's bloody brilliant!