A couple of days ago, I went to work, opened the EHR system and found a new name on my list. A 40-something lady with a foreign-born name. I took a look at the lab values, nothing spectacular except for increased GGT and increased blood sugar. This was the moment where it hit me: yet another fatty.
I went on the ward and one of the nurses greated "do you know what a big darling was admitted to us"? If nurses notice that a patient is fat, the patient is way beyond what sometimes passes as "fat" on this subverse. Hospital "fat" usually refers to hogs that should visit a veterinarian, not an MD. The nurses told me that, despite the fact that this beast was unable to do anything on her own at home, she demanded her breakfast at 07:00 STAT. Without seeing the patient, I scribbled "reduction diet, 800kcal". I hadn't seen her yet and already hated her.
On my ward round, I entered the room. In it, I found a blob what used to be a human a long, long time ago. Let's say about 160kg (350lbs), distributed almost evenly along 160cm (that's 5'3 for you imperial folks). The face was a perfect geometric circle, with the lower half doubly contoured by a second "chin" ranging from behind one ear to the other. The breath was superficial and fast, with a vague rhonchus. Communication proved difficult. Of course I'm an overall shitlord, so there is a minority patient that has been in this country for over 20 years and still hasn't managed to learn my language, which makes me speak even more complicated and with even rarer expressions. But this time, the communication proved difficult because she was brain-damaged in the medical sense of the word. We don't talk about the kind of genetic or fateful traumatic type of brain damage. This stupid bitch managed to get a brain hemorrhage from essential hypertension. In her 40s. Let that sink in.
I do my best to stay calm and concentrate on the "medical" aspect. In the end, I conclude that she has a mild upper respiratory tract infection, nothing serious.
But, as you all have learned in the meantime my dear shitlords and shitladies, no minor disease can be so minor that a hamplanet isn't able to make a disaster out of it.
Upon arriving the next day at 7:30, I see our night shift doc and two nurses rushing towards the ICU with the patient. If you are in the medical field, you immediately know what this means. No, not that the patient is actually sick. This hog managed to have to be ventilated for a condition that our kind would have had take two days off.
After the second day, her daughter called me. I told her that the problem is only and only her weight, and that she only has a minor infection. I felt so good after that.
To cut a long story short: She stayed on the ventilator for six fucking days, only being off it for eating. The nurses hated her, all the doctors hated her (even our hog attending, who is an elf compared to this piece of lard), she even managed to make the cleaning ladies angry.
Finally, we were able to discharge her. What a pity she doesn't have to pay for it.