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[–] Simpleusername 12 points -9 points (+3|-12) ago 

I met a chick in a bar this last weekend, the bar was full and I was sitting, offered her my seat, she responded, "are you some sort of faggot?" I laughed it off and talked her up, 30's, real estate agent, outside, making out, back to her place, she's doing well for herself, it's obvious she works out everyday too, we fuck, drink/smoke, fuck some more, she bust out a dildo and I start DPing her, she pulls dildo out of her ass, starts sucking on it, I go in, she ask me to choke her with dildo while I pound her ass, she passes out a few times, tells me to slap or punch her if she passes out again, about 30 minutes later I'm punching the shit out of her, choking her, end the night with a shower where I piss on her open bleeding wounds. 9/10 evening. I hope to see her again. I wonder what these fat mutant slags did last weekend?

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[–] retailslave 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

You have quite the imagination, just say you jerked off all weekend and be done with it.