Archived Help me harpoon a public transport land whale (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by Partypooper222
Posted by: Partypooper222
Posting time: 4.2 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 1875
SCP: 19
21 upvotes, 2 downvotes (91% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
NSFW: No
Authorized: No
Anon: No
Private: No
Type: Default
Archived Help me harpoon a public transport land whale (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by Partypooper222
Sort: Top
[–] vulturePunch 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
straight tell him to sit elsewhere cause you're tired of having to sit uncomfortably cause of his size. Do it when there's other people around.
[–] NoCountryForFatMen 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Do you always pick the same spot, or does he sit next you because he literally just wants to sit next to you specifically?
If it's the former, just sit somewhere else. If it's the latter, tell him to stop sitting next to and pressing up against you every single day like a creep.
[–] Danceswithswole 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Take out your phone and scroll through FPH stopping every minute or so to throw back your head in uproarious laughter. For bonus points upload a pic of a hipster fat that looks exactly like him. Then when it comes up in rotation act like you're overcome with nausea and take out a bag just in case.
[–] NoCountryForFatMen 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
LOL. I think it'd be easier to call a friend, and say something like "... hahaha stop it Jessica, you're the worst! Yeah he told me. But I'd rather die than date a fatass like Kevin. Hahaha, I knooooow! I bet he can't even see his own dick!"
[–] Barley330 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Throw a donut in the aisle then when tubby inevitably goes after it, a human can sit next to you.
[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Tell it that "fat people are fucking disgusting sub human filth, they do not deserve to be in the same train car as humans. The cattle car is in back."
[–] MightBeADuck 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
You could just ignore the huffing and tell him to stay in one seat, or bring a book/bag with you to jam in between his disgusting body and yourself.
[–] GregorSamsa 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Get a large starbucks or whatever coffee. Not too hot, loosen the lid at the stop before his, when he sits next to you and bumps you or when there's a jolt or something convincingly spill it on him.
If hes a fashion fat, damaging his clothes or whatever will piss him off the point he'll want to steer clear of you. If you're a female you can just apologize and it will probably get dropped. If he doesn't drop it or you're a dude, just apologize and if he presses tell him if he hadn't been crowding your space so much you likely wouldn't have spilt it on him.
[–] Vrendly 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Tell him politely to fuck off, be careful though. You don't want a 500 pound angry whale being aggressive toward you because he can't handle rejection. He'll crush you with his gut.