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[–] OhTheHamanatee 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Don't worry, beetus gets them all sooner or later, and that butter inhaler will suffer quite a lot of pain too.

You just make the best out of this disgusting situation now, and be proud that you triggered a mayoplanet by just existing.

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[–] sugarcoatedstrych9 [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

That's the silver lining I'm taking away from this, even though I wasn't able to verbally respond or even get the proper authorities involved in the moment, knowing that I triggered TWO fat ugly wastes of space in the span of like 15 minutes just by my simple existence gives me no small amount of joy.

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[–] DE4THWI5H 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Triggering a ham by existing is common. Triggering them so hard they literally ram you with shopping carts, you must be something special.

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[–] DessertFox 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You can call the store and tell the manager that you were assaulted by a customer there. You could file a police report, but it will get ignored unless you have some sort of injury that would necessitate further action.

The best asshole move may be to take their cart the moment they let go of it, and walk it to the other side of the store. Force them to either waddle after it, or to get all the stuff again. It's not stealing, because they have not bought anything. You can tell them "if you're going to assault me with a cart, then you can't have a cart" the entire time if they reeeee after you.

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[–] smoledman 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Lord Beetus always collects. 😈

In his case, limbs, eyes....

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[–] ranch-othelioma 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Hamen.

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[–] hulkingmanbeast ago 

"And all the tithe of diabetes, whether of the legs of the lards, or of the yeast of the gunt, is Lord Beetus'."