[–] [deleted] 0 points 50 points (+50|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Porkohontas 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I chortled.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Darkenmal 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

"No, please! I don't want to gooooo-" SLORP

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[–] mudder_phucker 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Harpoons Fired!

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[–] PrivateJoker 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

The sad part is, they're all going to go back to their farms and realize they didn't age while everything else is 200 years older

Sorry, Interstellar humor

[–] [deleted] 0 points 45 points (+45|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Shitty_McShitlord [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

They've completely ruined the style with their curvesssss. It sickens me that they think they're pin up girl material.

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[–] caddy 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

BUT BUT MARILYN MONROE HAD KUHRVS AND SHE WAS A PIN UP UR TRIGGERING ME

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[–] Armbees 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Don't forget the cat-eye glasses.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] PrivateJoker 0 points 24 points (+24|-0) ago 

The funniest part about this fat fuck is that she claims she's 220 lbs. I think that's probably 80lbs short of her real weight. Why lie if you're so fat and proud?

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[–] Shitty_McShitlord [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

There's no way she's 220 lbs. She's proven she has no shame, yet she lies about her weight like she's fooling us.

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[–] theunrighteous 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

She's over 300lbs, I think. Look at her fucking arms. Those things are like Elephant legs.

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[–] PrivateJoker 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Seriously, if you're going to lie about it don't act all proud of your morbid obesity. Also, don't make up an absurd number, make it somewhat believable.

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[–] caddy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Back when I was 220, I was chubby. I was not Tess Monster levels of goddamn beetus obeast.

Thank God I became a human.

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[–] Aierx 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Because scales cap at 220?

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[–] TenTonneTess 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Just like the HAES hams on daytime TV who swear blind they only eat fruit & veg & live on 1200 calories a day. If you're so proud of your size, why lie about how you stacked it on in the first place! Because deep down, somewhere in their thick fat heads, they know they're just greedy lying twats.

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[–] PrivateJoker 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Don't forget, they all have thyroid issues even though that only causes 20lb weight gains in most people.

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[–] Superschlafanzug 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Im a dude 6 foot 3 and I weigh way less. Just how fucking tiny is Tess supposed to be?

Edit: I worded that stupid, English isnt my first language, sorry. What I mean is that I once was 210 or so. I wasnt really happy with it, which is why I lost it. But unless I was shirtless you couldnt really see much of me being overweight. I am in awe how one can claim to be only 220 when you are so grossly obese and how small you have to be to actually be that weight at that size.

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[–] PrivateJoker 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I was the same way. 6'1" and 215 and was fat. Now i'm 175. She's either lying (99.9% likely) or is 3'6" tall lol

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[–] Deathstalker 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

The engineer that designed that floor is a god. That's like 2 tons of fats

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[–] theunrighteous 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Way more than 2 tons, mate.

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[–] Yamajac 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

There's 30 of them in there.

Assuming a 250lb average, that would be 7500lbs.

Which would be just over THREE tons.

And I'd be willing to bet the average is over 250lbs.

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[–] groovydude4911 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That's not just over three tons! That's just under FOUR tons! 8000lbs = 4 tons!

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[–] Deathstalker 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Oh shit you're right. My guess was way off.

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[–] c-fox 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Can you imagine the tsunami if they all jumped off a chair at the same time.

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[–] Shitty_McShitlord [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Yeah, props to him. Must've used steel reenforcements or something, that's the only thing that could hold that pod of whales up.

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[–] caddy 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Adamantium, maybe.

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[–] badmanjoker 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

The nice thing about being close to this body mass is that you will grow older slowly due to the gravitational effects. If they had a large light source behind them you might have even seen the einstein ring.

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[–] pink_marshmallow 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

You made me laugh, have an upvoat fellow shitlord

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[–] badmanjoker 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

thanks! need all the up votes I can get!

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[–] 2000_calories 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

holy shit, i thought i was looking at a diary farm. just a bunch of butter huffers.

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[–] RobotChicken 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

They are not pin-up models....pin-up models should be sexy, not shapeless blobs waddling around with tent sized clothes and shitty 50s style hair.

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[–] TenTonneTess 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I would never leave the house if I looked like ANY of these. But, any excuse for the HAES lot to ham it up with fellow massive units. Where else can chubb-rub be a genetic, unavoidable condition?

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