Bear with me, I just finished my 3rd 12 hour shift in a row (well, technically 13 hours by the time I was able to clock out) and my back is fucking sore. I am 27 years old and at this rate will probably end up on disability before I even turn 40. The "state of the art" public medical center I work for is too poor to put ceiling lifts in every patient room (probably because they're losing so much money keeping these fat asses with shitty Medicaid if they even have insurance alive) so when you have three "bariatric" (that's medical talk for HUGE FAT FUCK) patients in a 12 bed unit and only one room with a ceiling lift, guess who gets fucked over. The nurses, and every other patient on the unit, because it takes all 4 nurses and one nurse's aid just to turn your yeasty lymphedema ass to wipe it. Someone could be having a medical emergency and no one would know because we're all in your room trying to clean the shit stains off your scrotum. Not to mention the entire unit can smell you. It's the sick, sour smell of the yeast infections in your folds. And then you shit and piss yourself because you haven't been able to roll over let alone find your own dick in years.
Your personality is just as ugly as your appearance. Rude, demanding, selfish, lazy. Complain that we're starving you even if you had 2 lunch trays plus vending machine snacks as I desperately pump you full of insulin to combat your lethally high blood sugar. Even if you normally live independently at home, you want me to help you wipe your ass and tuck you in your blankets like an overgrown toddler. Fuck you. I can't say "wipe it yourself" without being disciplined for low patient satisfaction scores. And as much as I would like to let you lay in your own shit without cleaning it myself, I can't because the hospital isn't reimbursed for the tens of thousands of dollars it costs to treat a hospital-associated pressure ulcer.
We tried using a mobile lift that supposedly had a weight limit of 380 pounds on a 360 pound obeast who was as wide as we was tall, but the whole contraption started to buckle. The only petty revenge I can get is to hum the theme to "Free Willy" as I imagined returning it to the ocean.
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[–] shitlordnurse [S] 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
Maternity ward is full of obeasts too, and most of their suffering babies end up in NICU. And I love cardiology and geriatrics so.... I just got to stick this out another 4 years till I have my DNP and can work as a nurse practitioner.
[–] momdadibrokethevase 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
Geriatrics would be a good specialty for shitlords, because very few fat fucks even make it that far.
[–] papalogia 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
You'd think, but no. The people who are fat all their lives suffer more for it, but there are plenty of fatties who qualify as elderly who got fat later in life. Generally speaking the fat ones tend to be on the lower end of elderly--90 year olds get to be 90 by taking care of themselves--but you take care of plenty of 65yo fatties in geriatrics. Especially if they live in an old folks home. The food their tends to be cheap and fattening (in part because they don't want anything to be underweight, in part because the people running the kitchen are cheap). Old folk homes also can't cut a patient off if they keep asking for more food, because that's considered elder abuse. So you get a lot of older people, many of whom are at least a little depressed, with access to essentially unlimited fattening food. The ones who lived alright up until their wife died because she fed them well, or who grew up without the same access to junk food and that's the only reasons they weren't fat all their life, will balloon up.
But I will say the ratio is a littler different. When I did elder care, the patients who were high-end overweight or class I obese were the most likely to need help, but there were plenty of old folks were were in good shape for their age. And plenty of old folks who, with or without dementia, would vocally announce if they saw someone fat.
[–] SUPA_FUPA 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Oh god no... Living in Texas, I always pictured hospitals dedicated to maternal care would be the best places for mothers to have children. Now that you said that, they're probably dealing with obeasts more than human mothers.
[–] 6085186? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Midwifery would probably be a better choice if you wanted to do maternity care. High risk women are risked out. So there would be far fewer hamoms to care for.
[–] HelloPanda26 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
Sounds great! :) good luck to you and your endeavors! Four more years to go!
[–] Sellyoulight 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
My heart goes out to nurses. Having to pander to hyper-demanding, insane deathfats is about as bad a career prospect as I can imagine. Glad to hear you’re working on your DNP, because the only way out of the pit is by climbing up--kind of like in “The Dark Knight Rises”, except your Bane is the deathfats. In the meantime, is there any chance that working as an OR nurse could get you away from deathfat babysitting and asswiping?
[–] shitlordnurse [S] ago
LOL