1
90

[–] euthanizethepoors 1 points 90 points (+91|-1) ago  (edited ago)

You are obligated to press criminal charges against the fat. He It seriously tried to kill you.

edit: accidentally anthropomorphized the fat.

0
3

[–] Aids_Of_Space 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

This. Even if nothing comes from it now, the police will know who to bring in if something would happen to you later.

0
52

[–] vladthehampaler 0 points 52 points (+52|-0) ago 

see if you can get some security cam footage and maybe you can pursue some legal action

0
25

[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

Sugar in his gas powered scooter!

1
34

[–] euthanizethepoors 1 points 34 points (+35|-1) ago  (edited ago)

That would only encourage him it to drink the petrol.

edit: fats are not people.

0
29

[–] beyblayder 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago 

You say that like it's a bad thing... Lol

0
4

[–] Lilina 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

The petrol will kill the ham.

0
1

[–] finitely_eclectic 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

no problem there, problem solves itself. :)

0
6

[–] HamAtEnormousSize 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Sugar in it's beetus drink, then it will die a slow painful death.

0
4

[–] FilmMakingShitlord 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

It already is...

0
21

[–] Boyakasha 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

You should've beat his fat ass in to a grease stain.

0
11

[–] bdmthrfkr 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Fuck yeah, fuck with my bike and your ass is grass. The only problem with that is I would actually have to touch the lardass. Well, whatever, that's what gloves are for.

0
7

[–] LyzzyPhyzzy 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

That's what hammers are for

0
17

[–] SUPREME_SHITLORD 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

PRESS CHARGES!!! THIS PIG WAS TRYING TO HURT/KILL YOU MUCH LIKE WHEN SOMEONE MESSES WITH THE BREAKS ON A CAR. CALL THE POLICE AND IM SURE THE FERRY SHOULD HAVE FOOTAGE OF THIS. DO NOT LET THIS GO

0
14

[–] CakeTrap 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Wow, I would have lost my shit if I saw someone messing with my bike. I would say report him but I doubt that'll change anything. Just keep an eye on your bike and chew the guy out in public if you can.

0
13

[–] drakesdoom 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Take his bike chain and throw it in the water.

0
12

[–] whoahson 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

You could get the fat in trouble, if you have sympathetic law enforcement. Here it would be (attempted) criminal mischief/theft. If the Lard on the Barge said anything about trying to get back at you, then there's even the possibility of attempted assault.

I wouldn't let this go. If he got caught at this, that at least suggests he's done it before, and will probably do it again. There's something about legal action (maybe knowing society itself is looking at you badly) that stops actions from bad actors.

0
2

[–] veganesthie 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It would be trespass to chattel, maybe conversion, or battery or attempted murder depending on how detrimental the bike damage was. Like cutting the brake line a car.

load more comments ▼ (13 remaining)