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[–] Shitladyopossum 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America with his royal petal girl preceding him to pave his way with rose petals, it is common knowledge that every fat must enter the scene with a generous shower of salty goodness. It's the only way to announce their presence.

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[–] LochTessMunster 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

But none of that is a sign there should be a change.

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[–] rainbow_ashtray [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago  (edited ago)

There were so many moments that allegedly made him click, but determination never made it past the next spontaneous craving. He even switched back from Diet Coke to normal Coke because it tastes "a little" better, and that was after he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. His normal-weight girlfriend does the majority of shopping and tried to be strict for a while; after going through one too many of his infantile tantrums she just switched to enabling mode and stayed there. I tried to give good advice more than once, but when it comes to discipline, everything shatters. To be honest, I now just silently wait for the moment his heart gives in. It's a wasted life smashed on the ground, sat, spat and shat on by its very owner.

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[–] BWV1056 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

He even switched back from Diet Coke to normal Coke because it tastes "a little" better

It's weird, because for me diet coke tastes much better. I don't drink a lot of soda either way, but if I had to choose I'd go for diet coke. Regular coke just tastes like sugar to me.

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[–] Not-a-goat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It's a wasted life smashed on the ground, sat, spat and shat on by its very owner.

You forgot salted and sanded... :-D

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[–] J_Darnley 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

His normal-weight girlfriend ... tried to be strict for a while; after going through one too many of his infantile tantrums she just switched to enabling mode

I wonder whether she gave up, became a shitlady, and is now murdering him by feeding him sugar.

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[–] PCOSBelle ago 

I have stopped drinking soda 100% (irritates my stomach, not food hate), but after I had switched to diet for awhile, I could NOT drink regular soda anymore. It tastes weird and kind of stale.

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[–] BigBonesDontJiggle 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Revolting. Those poor poor paramedics who have to move his corpse in the presumably very near future.

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[–] praivo 1 point 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

Considering it's a planet, I'm surprised there's salt in the bag and not sugar.

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[–] LardOn4Bacon 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

The sugar bag is for once he gets inside.

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[–] shadybrainfarm 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I am truly baffled by the efforts obeasts go to to maintain their shitty unsustainable lifestyle when just being normal is pretty fucking easy.

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[–] Lilina 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Why is it so complex for the hams? I think it's safer to deny them licenses.

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[–] Human_Thumb 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

So he pollutes the area because he's too fat to walk like a human

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[–] Ezekiel_Balderdash 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It literally SALTS THE EARTH.

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[–] hiddenbutts ago 

That should be a sign you need to change. I drive every winter with a bag of salt in the back of the car, if not, it's so light I lose control over any snow or ice. I just can't understand why they over complicate basic things by staying that size.

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