Hello Again Ladies and Gentlemen,
I wrote earlier about my encounter with a "personal trainer" at my college. Now, I must regale y'all with another tale of degenerate fatness. Tonight, my friend (referred to as "she" or "Drunkgirl") got shitfaced. She was having serious relationship issues and was in a gloomy mood all day. I knew she would be drinking tonight, so I kept checking in on her every hour or so in order to make sure she didn't do anything that might lead to a trip to the E.R. Around midnight, I send my usual text and I get a troubling response. She is spewing liquids with the intensity of a fire hose. I head over to her location and rendezvous with her and another one of her friends (referred to as MoonCrater).
After 30 to 40 minutes of vomiting and incoherent ramblings, we are able to get our drunk companion standing. Now, it is particularly cold this time of year and MoonCrater suggested that Drunkgirl needed a coat and offered to give Drunkgirl hers. Before she did, she underscored the fact she was wearing a crop top and that this was quite the sacrifice. When she removed the jacket, I saw a stomach that was disgusting, putrid, cottage cheese from hell. It looked like her stomach had previously harnessed enough gravitational force to cause meteors to crash all around the fat folds. I totally lost track of my drunk friend and I was completely fixated on the eye-mutilating skin. In that moment I fully understood one particular quote - "If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you." Only when she adjusted her top and fupa carrier was I able to break the trance. I now pray to sweet Lord Beetus Jesus for mercy before I decide to remove my corneas. I think I'm going to create a group on campus called "Victims of Fatsual Assault" after this beastly encounter.
TL;DR Cottage cheese skin looks worse than Satan's butt plug.
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[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
[–] FraternityShitlord [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Thanks mate ;)
[–] Prepackaged 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Confirmed.