Took me long enough.
I'm impatient and lazy, for the most part. In my defense I've had some severe health problems that drained my energy.
For most of my life I've been arrogant and egotistical, always wanting to be THE BEST!!! in whatever my field was and I'd burn up with self loathing and envy whenever someone was better than me... Which was all the time.
My arrogance was baseless, I blindly assumed I was special and my ideas are good and my shit doesn't stink for no reason other than I'm me, and some people have put an illogical amount of faith and pressure on me. We were all being dumb with that. But I was the dumbest of all.
I'm stupid through and through. My ideas are dumb, usually. In my defense I have a good idea every now and then. But mostly I'm just dumb and lame. Which isn't a bad thing.
Being seen as stupid isn't a bad thing. People thinking my shit's gay isn't wrong, nor is it the end of the world. I can enjoy my dumb crap. I can have fun.
All my life I been nothing but a big loudmouth fuckin idiot with a gargantuan ego the size of the universe and not one single good reason to justify my shitty behavior. I'm objectively a stupid bag of lame shit with only a few redeeming qualities like corn sticking out from a turd.
Whenever I get too down I think about worse people and I go "well at least I'm not THAT bad" or "at least that person's in a worse situation, I'm relatively well off". Make me feel a ton better.