I want a cold, straight answer. I don't want to judge. I'm under no illusions of romanticism about men or women. The last thing men need right now is to create more resentment from their ignorance.
What draws you to a man sexually? Is it purely physical size, the man's attractiveness or that he is well off+has a relatively high status. Does it matter if he looks like Donald Trump if he's as rich as Donald Trump (with the added bonus of not grinding your gears like Donald Trump)? Would you do a bum who looked like Channing Tatum? Does age make you more/less open-minded?
Do you go for guys who are bad for you, because those bad things excite you? (Men do this too. I call it the burning moth hypothesis).
What's the rank order of importance? Is it a certain mix where one is more important?
Do you think women are pickier? Less obligated to be patient, kind in modern days? (A few mates asked me about this. I have thought about it.)
I assume women vary heavily and yet spin around a sort of central axis at varying orbits. So that's why I thought it useful to ask.
view the rest of the comments →
[–] billie-jean ago
For me, attraction is primal. I know if I'm attracted to man (regardless of how good-looking or what kind of status he has) within the first ten seconds of seeing him. Maybe it has to do with confidence and charisma, probably so. Everything else comes second. If I'm not attracted on a primal level, I could not give a single care about your money, status, etc.
As I get older, I am much less open-minded about who I date. When I was 18 I totally fell for the bad-boy thing, but now that I have lived a little longer I wouldn't give those types the time of day. I'll admit that a little edge is still a turn-on, but I guess I just know better now.
Honestly, I've been with men with large penises, and men with small. I prefer something in the middle, but this is by no means a deal-breaker. My current boyfriend is on the smaller side, but he knows how to make me feel better than anyone else has before.
If I had to rank importance of qualities in a potential mate it would probably be: physical attraction, emotional compatibility, shared values/beliefs, ability to provide support (money, job, work ethic, etc.).
Are women pickier? I don't know, I think it varies from woman to woman. I know women who are so picky they haven't been with a man in years (despite being "good catches"), and women who are ready to pounce on anything with a Y chromosome. I think that has something to do with these women's values and how they grew up.
[–] PM-me-about-Autism [S] ago
I presume that if it were possible, women would all choose the same man. The only man they could never find themselves resisting.
I will never be that man. But I must try.
[–] billie-jean ago
Oh, I don't think that's true. Would all men choose the same woman?