Archived Have your parents ever hit you? Did you think the reason was valid/did it change you in any way? (askgoat)
submitted ago by vivalafreakshow
Posted by: vivalafreakshow
Posting time: 4.5 years ago on
Last edit time: 4.5 years ago on
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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29 upvotes, 1 downvotes (97% upvoted it)
Archived Have your parents ever hit you? Did you think the reason was valid/did it change you in any way? (askgoat)
submitted ago by vivalafreakshow
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[–] SocratesOP 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Leading by example would work as perfectly as you daydream if you are the only influence on your child's life. Each time they're away at school etc there are other leaders, maybe even children, having profound effects on them.
I think spanking a kid who steals from a vendor is a much more favorable outcome than waiting for him to get legally caught and learn the expensive lesson. Both are learned the same way, with an action and suffering the reaction. There is no substitute for this learning process, as much as you want them to your kids cannot live vicariously through you. As a parent you lead by example yes, but you also correct behavior that you see which could result in your offspring having a tough life.
I've mentioned I don't think senselessly or maliciously beating your kids is okay and is not what we're talking about.
In a mirror situation, everything equal, a kid is stealing from a vendor. One child gets a stern talking to every time he steals, one gets a spanking on his raw hide each time. Who is more likely to steal in the near future?
[–] revofire 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
Surely, I agree that another method might be better than the more expensive one as you cited with the vendor.
But this is NOT a daydream. The parents intensely influence their children. I guarantee it. Others influence but they will learn the lessons and realize that their true leaders (the parents) were right and they will be infinitely stronger than those with parents who did not fight for their children or themselves.
You must correct the behavior of your children, but do not let the pain and hatred come from you. There are MANY MANY ways to teach a lesson, you can control the situation to make it such that they learn it anyway without having the hit them.
When you understand that simple truth: we have options... then you will understand why it is fundamentally worse to resort to violence.